Pecan-crusted chicken strips
Ingredients:
2 large chicken breasts (less than 2lbs total)
1 cup pecan meal (you can crush pecan halves in the blender or food
processor if you don't have meal; process until coarse crumbs)
3 tablespoons cornstarch or potato starch
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh parsley
pinch black pepper
1 egg
2 tablespoons water
3 tablespoons vegetable oil (+ as needed)
Instructions:
Pound chicken breasts until less than 1" thick and cut into strips. Pat dry with paper towels.
Heat vegetable oil in large skillet over medium heat
Whisk egg and water together in a bowl
Mix other ingredients thoroughly in a separate bowl to make pecan
coating, making sure starch is evenly mixed in and there are no lumps
Dip each strip of chicken in the egg/water mixture, then immediately dredge in pecan coating.
Place coated strips in heated skilled.
Cook for approximately 5 minutes, then flip and cook for an additional 6 minutes.
If making multiple batches, scrape debris out of skillet and refresh oil between batches.
Excellent for a salad topping or alone with dipping sauces.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Whatever Happened to Regina Benjamin?
Remember Regina Benjamin?
In 2009, a black woman was nominated as Surgeon General. She was a highly qualified candidate for the post. She ran a clinic in a poor town in Alabama and campaigned for health access for the poor. She's been awarded the Nelson Mandela Award for Health and Human Rights (1998) and was the first person under 40 to be appointed to the board of the AMA (as well as the first black woman!). She's an activist, an environmentalist, and a humanitarian by all accounts. She's a supporter of reproductive rights for women (despite being Catholic) and has reportedly worked to encourage medical schools to include abortion training that helps new doctors understand all the ramifications of the surgery.
She's also the Surgeon General of the United States. Why don't we ever hear about it?
When she was first nominated, there was a public freak-storm about the fact that she was a short, heavy black woman. Even though she was a powerful force for public health equality for the poor, a highly qualified medical candidate, and an extremely active woman who did backpack treks in Costa Rica, women in our country are held to such a strict appearance standard that her nomination was delayed, then quietly slipped through, and we haven't really heard from the office since.
So now we have a quiet surgeon general. Is this because the administration wanted to avoid the weight debate? Did she? Is the cliche'd "Obesity Crisis" section on the SG website a result of the administration's decision or her own? Why do we continue to have Newsweek coverage of women like Palin, while a real role-model for women has disappeared into the media abyss?
Regina Benjamin was taught, by a storm of public opinion, that women in power need to either meet the aesthetic trend of the day, or STFU. No one questioned George W. Bush's BMI when he was campaigning, or whether having an overweight president would set a "bad example." Regina Benjamin, however, is a short black woman, and that makes all the difference when people are looking for an excuse.
We have a woman in a position to be a spokesperson to the U.S. on matters of health. A woman who was quoted as saying, "You can be healthy and fit at different sizes. The real message is that you don't want to limit yourself by your dress size."
This is a message in need of a spotlight.
In 2009, a black woman was nominated as Surgeon General. She was a highly qualified candidate for the post. She ran a clinic in a poor town in Alabama and campaigned for health access for the poor. She's been awarded the Nelson Mandela Award for Health and Human Rights (1998) and was the first person under 40 to be appointed to the board of the AMA (as well as the first black woman!). She's an activist, an environmentalist, and a humanitarian by all accounts. She's a supporter of reproductive rights for women (despite being Catholic) and has reportedly worked to encourage medical schools to include abortion training that helps new doctors understand all the ramifications of the surgery.
She's also the Surgeon General of the United States. Why don't we ever hear about it?
When she was first nominated, there was a public freak-storm about the fact that she was a short, heavy black woman. Even though she was a powerful force for public health equality for the poor, a highly qualified medical candidate, and an extremely active woman who did backpack treks in Costa Rica, women in our country are held to such a strict appearance standard that her nomination was delayed, then quietly slipped through, and we haven't really heard from the office since.
So now we have a quiet surgeon general. Is this because the administration wanted to avoid the weight debate? Did she? Is the cliche'd "Obesity Crisis" section on the SG website a result of the administration's decision or her own? Why do we continue to have Newsweek coverage of women like Palin, while a real role-model for women has disappeared into the media abyss?
Regina Benjamin was taught, by a storm of public opinion, that women in power need to either meet the aesthetic trend of the day, or STFU. No one questioned George W. Bush's BMI when he was campaigning, or whether having an overweight president would set a "bad example." Regina Benjamin, however, is a short black woman, and that makes all the difference when people are looking for an excuse.
We have a woman in a position to be a spokesperson to the U.S. on matters of health. A woman who was quoted as saying, "You can be healthy and fit at different sizes. The real message is that you don't want to limit yourself by your dress size."
This is a message in need of a spotlight.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
The Midnight Train to Georgia...
It's official! JD and I are moving to Atlanta in July of this year. It'll be really exciting to be in a whole new place, and very stressful that it's all happening last minute and I learned about it in the middle of finals week. I can't wait to see the billboard project first hand.
Any FA (or other) advice or resources for Atlanta? We hopefully want to settle where we can easily get to the Georgia Tech campus, but I hear the public transit is pretty good.
Any FA (or other) advice or resources for Atlanta? We hopefully want to settle where we can easily get to the Georgia Tech campus, but I hear the public transit is pretty good.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Why I'm Not Renewing my NPR Membership
Dear NPR:
I am a long-time listener. Last year I became a member for the first time. This year I will not be renewing my membership.
This was a difficult decision for me because I love 90% of NPR programming. It is thoughtful, insightful and entertaining, and I don't listen to any other radio station.
But in the last year, I have seen an alarming downhill trend in the quality of fact-checking in your stories regarding obesity, and a distinct slant against fat people in your health reporting.
Recently there has been a lot of media attention on obesity because it is a currently popular trend. Many studies are pouring out of universities with poor methodology and low statistical significance, but if they attach the magic word "obesity" to the study they are not only funded, but seized upon as confirmation by the media.
The most recent example, and the one that cemented the decision for me to cancel my membership, was the report linking autism and obesity. The "health reporter" who took this up clearly knows nothing about science. He did not consider the extremely shaky methodology (i.e. conflating three distinct bodily and metabolic states with no separate controls that would rule out specific factors, relatively small sample size, dubious self-report methods that relied entirely on the mother's memory of their health from the years before their child's birth, and failure to establish a causal relationship). Instead, the reporter himself discussed the results as if the two metabolic conditions were interchangeable with high body weight (not true) and over-simplified the findings to, essentially, that fat women are more likely to have autistic children.
Anyone with basic college level science courses and some analytical thinking could have seen that this was not worth reporting on.
A previous report on the new weight-loss drug pending approval from the F.D.A. suggested that the extremely dangerous side effects of the drug were fully justified by a temporary 10 pound weight loss.
Another report spoke about how partial stomach amputation or constriction could cure diabetes (without doing the basic research that would have told the reporter that the metabolic effects of weight loss surgery are temporary, and usually return by the 5th year.) His source was a weight-loss surgeon who makes a living by convincing people to do the procedure.
This poor reporting on health doesn't just misinform the public. It actively hurts people. Fat people are already facing severe health and social discrimination due to their weight. For many personal stories of medical discrimination against fat people, see the blog "First Do No Harm" (http://fathealth.wordpress.com/) because it expresses the problem better than statistics could. Fat people are denied jobs, housing, health care, and have even had their children taken from the home.
When you report a flimsy college study that claims fat women produce autistic children, it is one more excuse for insurance companies to deny coverage, fertility clinics to deny treatment, and doctors to blame the mother for a primarily hereditary disease. NPR has such a reputation for fair, quality reporting that the harm you do with faulty reporting is greater than you would think. People accept what you say, and that means they accept that fat people like me are inherently sick, damaged and less than human, simply because our bodies are not shaped like the cultural ideal.
Thank you for your time, and I hope that if the quality of your health reporting does improve, and I feel that I can safely listen without being repeatedly told that I am a disease to be cured, I will become a supporter again.
I am a long-time listener. Last year I became a member for the first time. This year I will not be renewing my membership.
This was a difficult decision for me because I love 90% of NPR programming. It is thoughtful, insightful and entertaining, and I don't listen to any other radio station.
But in the last year, I have seen an alarming downhill trend in the quality of fact-checking in your stories regarding obesity, and a distinct slant against fat people in your health reporting.
Recently there has been a lot of media attention on obesity because it is a currently popular trend. Many studies are pouring out of universities with poor methodology and low statistical significance, but if they attach the magic word "obesity" to the study they are not only funded, but seized upon as confirmation by the media.
The most recent example, and the one that cemented the decision for me to cancel my membership, was the report linking autism and obesity. The "health reporter" who took this up clearly knows nothing about science. He did not consider the extremely shaky methodology (i.e. conflating three distinct bodily and metabolic states with no separate controls that would rule out specific factors, relatively small sample size, dubious self-report methods that relied entirely on the mother's memory of their health from the years before their child's birth, and failure to establish a causal relationship). Instead, the reporter himself discussed the results as if the two metabolic conditions were interchangeable with high body weight (not true) and over-simplified the findings to, essentially, that fat women are more likely to have autistic children.
Anyone with basic college level science courses and some analytical thinking could have seen that this was not worth reporting on.
A previous report on the new weight-loss drug pending approval from the F.D.A. suggested that the extremely dangerous side effects of the drug were fully justified by a temporary 10 pound weight loss.
Another report spoke about how partial stomach amputation or constriction could cure diabetes (without doing the basic research that would have told the reporter that the metabolic effects of weight loss surgery are temporary, and usually return by the 5th year.) His source was a weight-loss surgeon who makes a living by convincing people to do the procedure.
This poor reporting on health doesn't just misinform the public. It actively hurts people. Fat people are already facing severe health and social discrimination due to their weight. For many personal stories of medical discrimination against fat people, see the blog "First Do No Harm" (http://fathealth.wordpress.com/) because it expresses the problem better than statistics could. Fat people are denied jobs, housing, health care, and have even had their children taken from the home.
When you report a flimsy college study that claims fat women produce autistic children, it is one more excuse for insurance companies to deny coverage, fertility clinics to deny treatment, and doctors to blame the mother for a primarily hereditary disease. NPR has such a reputation for fair, quality reporting that the harm you do with faulty reporting is greater than you would think. People accept what you say, and that means they accept that fat people like me are inherently sick, damaged and less than human, simply because our bodies are not shaped like the cultural ideal.
Thank you for your time, and I hope that if the quality of your health reporting does improve, and I feel that I can safely listen without being repeatedly told that I am a disease to be cured, I will become a supporter again.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Series: Self Esteem Sneak Attacks (Part 4)
There are some attacks on our body image and self-esteem that are so subtle that they generally affect us without us even being aware of them. They act as invisible weights to drag us down when we're fighting hard to stay up. Being aware of them is the first step to defending against them, because if we are processing something consciously we have much more control over how it affects us. The series begins here on 3/28/12.
Today's Sneak Attack: The Insult by Proxy
We've all been in a situation where someone (whether a friend or someone in the media) mocks the weight of someone thinner than you. The inevitable thought that pops up for me is, "if they think so badly of that person, what must they think about ME?"
We've also all shared the experience of someone complaining about a body feature you share, or tells a joke where the butt of the joke shares attributes with you.
Most of us have also had that moment where we're hanging out with friends or at a party and get trapped in an "uglier than thou" contest, where each person tries to outdo the other in trash talking some part of their body that they find unacceptable.
A lot of our learning comes from imitating others. This starts in infancy with something called "gaze following," where a baby looks in the same direction as adults to learn how to discern what is important. It's an essential element of language acquisition.
Another important element of learning is called "modeling," which says that we learn a lot about how to act, dress, think and speak by observing how others do so. This means that when the people around us think badly of themselves and their bodies, we experience an intense, hard-wired, instinctive urge to imitate them.
The good news is that instincts can be overcome by conscious thought and practice. When we feel that tell-tale sense of doubt that means we want to conform to other peoples' poor body image, it is important to intervene. Try one or all of these affirmations:
I don't have to own someone else's problems with their body
I can feel sorry for someone who thinks so badly about themselves.
My body is all right, and so is their's. They just don't know it.
This person is trained to think that way about themselves. I don't have to follow.
They're wrong about me and my body.
My body is fine the way it is.
I can sympathize with their pain without making it mine.
If you can, remove yourself from the company or influence of the person who is creating negativity for you. You don't have to make a big deal about it, but you get to decide what threats to your own self-esteem you can handle. I have days where I have to say, "I am feeling tired and emotionally vulnerable; I can't be around this person without it affecting me negatively." On other days it doesn't bother me. I have to do what's best for me, and avoid what negativity I can on vulnerable days. I have to set that boundary for myself.
There is a philosophical analogy known as "Plato's Cave" that applies here. Imagine a group of people who live their entire lives chained inside a cave, facing a blank wall. They only see vague shadows and develop theories of what things look like and are based on the shadows (their only perception of reality). One day a prisoner escapes the cave and goes out into the world. He suddenly learns that things are not made of shadows and there is an entire reality unperceived by those in the cave.
One version has the prisoner return to the cave and try to explain what he has seen to the other prisoners. They, of course, dismiss him as delusional. After all, they've known nothing but shadows all their lives; of course that's all there is.
We spend our entire lives immersed in a culture of body dissatisfaction that medicalizes differences in how we're made and treats us as diseases. Those who have never been introduced to body acceptance concepts are still in the cave. They have an entirely different view of the world to the point where they may not even be able to understand what you're saying.
From this perspective, you can understand and empathize with them. Of course they think badly of their body; that's how it's done and it's all they've ever known. You, however, know differently. They may see you as a radical (or even delusional) because you are breaking away into a new paradigm, but that doesn't make them right. It makes them not in posession of all the facts.
The fact is that despite our instinctive urges to conform to society's body and fat hatred, we have the cognitive ability to override those instincts. We can choose to reject people with body issues as models for our own thoughts and behaviors. We can choose to not own other peoples' dissatisfaction and be only accountable to ourselves.
Your body, your choice.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Series: Self Esteem Sneak Attacks (Part 3)
There are some attacks on our body image and self-esteem that are so subtle that they generally affect us without us even being aware of them. They act as invisible weights to drag us down when we're fighting hard to stay up. Being aware of them is the first step to defending against them, because if we are processing something consciously we have much more control over how it affects us. The series begins here on 3/28/12.
Today's Sneak Attack: The "Success" Story
An interesting study showed that the majority of people who viewed pro-ana websites (websites that promote anorexia) restricted how much they ate, with no conscious awareness of doing so, for days to weeks afterwards. When a person in the office loses weight, their co-workers are more likely to experience negative body image issues and depressed mood, even if the same coworker has lost and re-gained the weight before. When a person gets plastic surgery, the friends and family members of the same gender experience increased negative body image.
The world is full of so-called success stories. Generally it's someone who has made a significant physical or financial change in their lives, and sometimes it's an entirely fictional account made up for advertising. Shows like "The Biggest Loser," "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and "Clean House" promote the idea that quick, significant change is not only possible, but can make you into a different person.
Watch out for two things; the "results not typical" disclaimer, and the lack of follow-up. Clean House can take a hoarder's home and restore it to pristine calm in a week. What they don't tell you is that the hoarder then undergoes intensive, long-term cognitive-behavioral therapy to deal with the underlying issue, and often relapses once the cameras are gone. Weight Watchers can flash a celebrity on their commercial, but that celebrity lost weight with the help of extensive wealth, access to personal chefs and trainers, and hours of daily free time to devote to exercise. Do you see the "results not typical" disclaimer at the bottom of the screen? It's in tiny print. What it means is that Weight Watchers has a long-term (i.e. 5 years) success rate of around one twentieth of one percent.
These stories are beguiling. We WANT to believe that instant, long-lasting personal change is possible with little effort. We WANT to believe it is possible to change our insides by changing our outsides. So when we see the smiling poster child, we get down on ourselves for not doing it just like them.
In reality, some change is possible. You may never look like a 16 year old supermodel or an anime figure. You can, however, change your mind. You can look at a "success" story and say to yourself, I can have that happiness without the superficials. I can give myself permission to change inside without waiting to first change outside.
Today's Sneak Attack: The "Success" Story
An interesting study showed that the majority of people who viewed pro-ana websites (websites that promote anorexia) restricted how much they ate, with no conscious awareness of doing so, for days to weeks afterwards. When a person in the office loses weight, their co-workers are more likely to experience negative body image issues and depressed mood, even if the same coworker has lost and re-gained the weight before. When a person gets plastic surgery, the friends and family members of the same gender experience increased negative body image.
The world is full of so-called success stories. Generally it's someone who has made a significant physical or financial change in their lives, and sometimes it's an entirely fictional account made up for advertising. Shows like "The Biggest Loser," "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and "Clean House" promote the idea that quick, significant change is not only possible, but can make you into a different person.
Watch out for two things; the "results not typical" disclaimer, and the lack of follow-up. Clean House can take a hoarder's home and restore it to pristine calm in a week. What they don't tell you is that the hoarder then undergoes intensive, long-term cognitive-behavioral therapy to deal with the underlying issue, and often relapses once the cameras are gone. Weight Watchers can flash a celebrity on their commercial, but that celebrity lost weight with the help of extensive wealth, access to personal chefs and trainers, and hours of daily free time to devote to exercise. Do you see the "results not typical" disclaimer at the bottom of the screen? It's in tiny print. What it means is that Weight Watchers has a long-term (i.e. 5 years) success rate of around one twentieth of one percent.
These stories are beguiling. We WANT to believe that instant, long-lasting personal change is possible with little effort. We WANT to believe it is possible to change our insides by changing our outsides. So when we see the smiling poster child, we get down on ourselves for not doing it just like them.
In reality, some change is possible. You may never look like a 16 year old supermodel or an anime figure. You can, however, change your mind. You can look at a "success" story and say to yourself, I can have that happiness without the superficials. I can give myself permission to change inside without waiting to first change outside.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Series: Self Esteem Sneak Attacks (Part 2)
There are some attacks on our body image and self-esteem that are so subtle that they generally affect us without us even being aware of them. They act as invisible weights to drag us down when we're fighting hard to stay up. Being aware of them is the first step to defending against them, because if we are processing something consciously we have much more control over how it affects us. The series begins here on 3/28/12.
Today's Sneak Attack: The Back-Handed Compliment
We've all gotten this before, and it is a verbal attack. Some examples:
"You look so much better in makeup!"
"You would look much younger with that hair color."
"You're so brave to eat like that in public!"
"I wish I could just let myself go, you look so comfortable."
"That suit jacket is really slimming!"
The worst, in my experience is the ubiquitous "You look great, have you lost weight?"
These are phrased as compliments, with all the nonverbal cues that can trick you into thinking that the person is being nice. In fact, the implication of the backhanded compliment is always insulting. It often takes the form of "You have always looked/dressed terrible, which is why I'm so suprised to see you looking presentable on this one occasion (with the implication that it's a fluke). By acting surprised, I am reminding you that I think you generally look terrible."
The ones that presume some change assume that you were fully aware of how terrible you used to look and would naturally want to make some drastic change to your appearance: "You look great, did you change your hair/lose weight/shave differently/start working out". This is even worse when you haven't actually lost weight/changed your hair/started working out. It then implies that you really need to do these things in order to be acceptable.
Because of the confusing nonverbal cues, your brain may not throw up defenses against the insulting implications of the back-handed compliment and they will creep into your self-image. When you hear a compliment that refers negatively to your body in any way (past, present or future) or assumes changes, treat it with the suspicion it deserves. Take a second to really unpack it and respond appropriately. The person may not even be aware that they are really insulting you; they may be expressing some subconscious criticism of themselves and putting it on you.
You can accept the parts of it that actually are complimentary (I look great, these clothes fit me well, I must be feeling confident today and people are noticing). Consciously affirm these elements and reject/refuse to own the rest. If you look and feel good right now, the critical elements of what that person said can just roll off you.
They may also be playing a social game of persecution. They give you a back-handed compliment, you take umbrage at the subtext, they deny the subtext and get to be angry that you're "too sensitive" or "reading things into" what they didn't say. Their anger and feeling of martyrdom when they're "just trying to be nice" is an emotional stimulus for them that reinforces both their self image and their opinion of others.
In this classic mind game, the only winning move is not to play.* Deny them the stimulus and reinforcement they're looking for. Respond "thank you," and walk away or change the subject. You are blocking their attempts to make you play, and that makes you the winner in this exchange. If they want to keep attacking, make them do so openly where you can legitimately defend yourself.
*Bonus points to anyone who read that last bit in the little tinny computer voice from Wargames.
Today's Sneak Attack: The Back-Handed Compliment
We've all gotten this before, and it is a verbal attack. Some examples:
"You look so much better in makeup!"
"You would look much younger with that hair color."
"You're so brave to eat like that in public!"
"I wish I could just let myself go, you look so comfortable."
"That suit jacket is really slimming!"
The worst, in my experience is the ubiquitous "You look great, have you lost weight?"
These are phrased as compliments, with all the nonverbal cues that can trick you into thinking that the person is being nice. In fact, the implication of the backhanded compliment is always insulting. It often takes the form of "You have always looked/dressed terrible, which is why I'm so suprised to see you looking presentable on this one occasion (with the implication that it's a fluke). By acting surprised, I am reminding you that I think you generally look terrible."
The ones that presume some change assume that you were fully aware of how terrible you used to look and would naturally want to make some drastic change to your appearance: "You look great, did you change your hair/lose weight/shave differently/start working out". This is even worse when you haven't actually lost weight/changed your hair/started working out. It then implies that you really need to do these things in order to be acceptable.
Because of the confusing nonverbal cues, your brain may not throw up defenses against the insulting implications of the back-handed compliment and they will creep into your self-image. When you hear a compliment that refers negatively to your body in any way (past, present or future) or assumes changes, treat it with the suspicion it deserves. Take a second to really unpack it and respond appropriately. The person may not even be aware that they are really insulting you; they may be expressing some subconscious criticism of themselves and putting it on you.
You can accept the parts of it that actually are complimentary (I look great, these clothes fit me well, I must be feeling confident today and people are noticing). Consciously affirm these elements and reject/refuse to own the rest. If you look and feel good right now, the critical elements of what that person said can just roll off you.
They may also be playing a social game of persecution. They give you a back-handed compliment, you take umbrage at the subtext, they deny the subtext and get to be angry that you're "too sensitive" or "reading things into" what they didn't say. Their anger and feeling of martyrdom when they're "just trying to be nice" is an emotional stimulus for them that reinforces both their self image and their opinion of others.
In this classic mind game, the only winning move is not to play.* Deny them the stimulus and reinforcement they're looking for. Respond "thank you," and walk away or change the subject. You are blocking their attempts to make you play, and that makes you the winner in this exchange. If they want to keep attacking, make them do so openly where you can legitimately defend yourself.
*Bonus points to anyone who read that last bit in the little tinny computer voice from Wargames.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Series: Self Esteem Sneak Attacks
A comment yesterday inspired me to do a blog series on the very subtle attacks on your self-esteem and body image that you encounter every day. These attacks are so subtle that they generally affect us without us even being aware of them. They act as invisible weights to drag us down when we're fighting hard to stay up. Being aware of them is the first step to defending against them, because if we are processing something consciously we have much more control over how it affects us.
Today's Sneak Attack: The Poison Image
Studies show that people of all genders score significantly worse on body image and self-esteem markers after viewing a fashion magazine aimed at their gender for as little as thirty minutes. They're often not even aware of the change, but express more negative comparisons between their body and the bodies in the pictures, exhibit depressed mood, and increase negative thinking.
The images in these magazines aren't real. The bodies represented are generally 2% or less of the population to begin with, then are digitally edited to alter their size, shape, bone structure, skin clarity and texture, hair, and teeth. In fact one company got so tired searching for the "perfect" body that they created a computer generated image of what they saw as the perfect body for their clothes and use different models' faces on the same body in the catalog.
The easy solution is to avoid fashion magazines, especially those that use idealized, trendy, altered images. Read magazines that involve your interests or hobbies instead. If you're shopping for plus-size clothes, give preference (or at least equal time) to the lines that use plus-size models to show them.
If you must have your Vogue or GQ, try to be aware of the effect it has on your self-esteem. Stop and affirm to yourself that these aren't real images and that you are okay as you are. Check in with your emotional state, and if it is starting to drop, put the magazine down and do something affirming and/or creative for a little while. Flip through some Adipositivity pics to balance the effect.
Check in with yourself also when watching television. Many shows depict only the 2% of men and women that match the currently fashionable body types, and/or have characters that constantly reinforce poor body image or fatphobia. Is the rest of the show really worth it to you? If so, then make sure your guard is up against the toxic elements of it.
Today's Sneak Attack: The Poison Image
Studies show that people of all genders score significantly worse on body image and self-esteem markers after viewing a fashion magazine aimed at their gender for as little as thirty minutes. They're often not even aware of the change, but express more negative comparisons between their body and the bodies in the pictures, exhibit depressed mood, and increase negative thinking.
The images in these magazines aren't real. The bodies represented are generally 2% or less of the population to begin with, then are digitally edited to alter their size, shape, bone structure, skin clarity and texture, hair, and teeth. In fact one company got so tired searching for the "perfect" body that they created a computer generated image of what they saw as the perfect body for their clothes and use different models' faces on the same body in the catalog.
The easy solution is to avoid fashion magazines, especially those that use idealized, trendy, altered images. Read magazines that involve your interests or hobbies instead. If you're shopping for plus-size clothes, give preference (or at least equal time) to the lines that use plus-size models to show them.
If you must have your Vogue or GQ, try to be aware of the effect it has on your self-esteem. Stop and affirm to yourself that these aren't real images and that you are okay as you are. Check in with your emotional state, and if it is starting to drop, put the magazine down and do something affirming and/or creative for a little while. Flip through some Adipositivity pics to balance the effect.
Check in with yourself also when watching television. Many shows depict only the 2% of men and women that match the currently fashionable body types, and/or have characters that constantly reinforce poor body image or fatphobia. Is the rest of the show really worth it to you? If so, then make sure your guard is up against the toxic elements of it.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Stop and Admire the View
There’s a term in the field of psychology called disavowal, which means that you know something – but at the same time, you don’t let yourself know that you know it. In other words, you disavow the thing that’s too hard to consciously acknowledge.
I see this frequently when it comes to body acceptance. It is almost a distinct stage. Once you come to terms with the idea that body acceptance is a good thing, you become stuck on the idea that it is only a good thing for other people. You strongly believe that your friends, family and everyone else you care about should love and accept their bodies as strong, beautiful and just right how they are. But when it comes to your own body, somehow, it's different. There has to be some fundamental flaw that makes your body not okay, even if it's the only body in the world that isn't.
Let me just tell you, and ask you to repeat to yourself over and over again: There is nothing different about your body. You are not an exception. You deserve to love yourself every single bit as much as your friends and family deserve to love themselves, right now, just as you are.
Disavowal is a tough thing to work through because it involves shifting your own paradigm. Your brain and body like things how they are. It's called homeostasis. It's why you return to the same weight range if you try to stray too far out of it. It's why we cling to old ideas far more tenaciously than we embrace new ones. Change translates to stress in our physical bodies, because they must physically adapt to new ideas and circumstances.
It's also hard to outsmart yourself. Sometimes it's beneficial to "fake it 'till you make it," and see if it becomes a part of you after a while. Sometimes you just have to take the tiny voices firmly in hand and make that leap, which is only possible if circumstances are just right.
But, importantly, you are not alone if you are in this phase of FA. I have met very few people who were not where you are at some point in their journey. It is okay to be where you are. It is okay to stop and take a breather and re-assess where you are.
I can get into a pattern where I am driving myself so hard that I never stop to count accomplishments. I fall into scarcity thinking where I feel that if I lose momentum I will never get going again. But while I can't quite shake this belief in the moment (disavowal again) I inevitably find it to be false when I trust myself enough to stop. That's when I find that the mountain doesn't look so high from halfway up, and the view is already pretty good.
So let yourself be where you are on your journey to self-acceptance. Count your accomplishments so far, and enjoy the view. Later, you can take a deep breath and decide the next step from a less pressured position. In the meantime, you may find that you like yourself a little bit more for the steps you've already taken.
I see this frequently when it comes to body acceptance. It is almost a distinct stage. Once you come to terms with the idea that body acceptance is a good thing, you become stuck on the idea that it is only a good thing for other people. You strongly believe that your friends, family and everyone else you care about should love and accept their bodies as strong, beautiful and just right how they are. But when it comes to your own body, somehow, it's different. There has to be some fundamental flaw that makes your body not okay, even if it's the only body in the world that isn't.
Let me just tell you, and ask you to repeat to yourself over and over again: There is nothing different about your body. You are not an exception. You deserve to love yourself every single bit as much as your friends and family deserve to love themselves, right now, just as you are.
Disavowal is a tough thing to work through because it involves shifting your own paradigm. Your brain and body like things how they are. It's called homeostasis. It's why you return to the same weight range if you try to stray too far out of it. It's why we cling to old ideas far more tenaciously than we embrace new ones. Change translates to stress in our physical bodies, because they must physically adapt to new ideas and circumstances.
It's also hard to outsmart yourself. Sometimes it's beneficial to "fake it 'till you make it," and see if it becomes a part of you after a while. Sometimes you just have to take the tiny voices firmly in hand and make that leap, which is only possible if circumstances are just right.
But, importantly, you are not alone if you are in this phase of FA. I have met very few people who were not where you are at some point in their journey. It is okay to be where you are. It is okay to stop and take a breather and re-assess where you are.
I can get into a pattern where I am driving myself so hard that I never stop to count accomplishments. I fall into scarcity thinking where I feel that if I lose momentum I will never get going again. But while I can't quite shake this belief in the moment (disavowal again) I inevitably find it to be false when I trust myself enough to stop. That's when I find that the mountain doesn't look so high from halfway up, and the view is already pretty good.
So let yourself be where you are on your journey to self-acceptance. Count your accomplishments so far, and enjoy the view. Later, you can take a deep breath and decide the next step from a less pressured position. In the meantime, you may find that you like yourself a little bit more for the steps you've already taken.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Recipe Box: Rosemary Balsamic Roast
Recipe is for about four smallish dinner-size servings of meat and potatoes. It goes beautifully with a strongly flavored salad, like field greens with blue cheese.
Ingredients:
approx. 12 ounces of beef (I used 2 6oz sizzler steaks and they came out beautifully)
1 sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1/2" cubes
1 large yellow potato (or 2 red) cut into 1/2" cubes
1 small yellow onion, diced
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon whole dried rosemary leaves
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/2 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
pinch salt
pinch pepper
2 tablespoons water
mix together all ingredients except beef and and arrange around meat in a roaster pan. Bake, covered, for 1 hour, 30 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Check after one hour and stir potatoes/add water as needed.
Done when potatoes are fork-tender.
Some variations you could try include adding chopped leeks or artichoke hearts to the mix, substituting tofu or chicken, or play against the sweetness of the potatoes with a teaspoon of honey and some chopped walnuts or pecans.
Ingredients:
approx. 12 ounces of beef (I used 2 6oz sizzler steaks and they came out beautifully)
1 sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1/2" cubes
1 large yellow potato (or 2 red) cut into 1/2" cubes
1 small yellow onion, diced
1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon whole dried rosemary leaves
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
1/2 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
pinch salt
pinch pepper
2 tablespoons water
mix together all ingredients except beef and and arrange around meat in a roaster pan. Bake, covered, for 1 hour, 30 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Check after one hour and stir potatoes/add water as needed.
Done when potatoes are fork-tender.
Some variations you could try include adding chopped leeks or artichoke hearts to the mix, substituting tofu or chicken, or play against the sweetness of the potatoes with a teaspoon of honey and some chopped walnuts or pecans.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Giving Yourself Permission
I'm re-visiting the Fantasy of Being Thin with some friends right now, and thinking about when I gave up the one fantasy I had used as an excuse to hate my body. When discussing this new round of examining all the people we would be if our bodies were different, JD used a key phrase that really stuck with me. He said that you have to give yourself permission to be the person you want to be.
He's right. Right down inside all the fantasies is the idea that we have to conform to someone else's idea of perfect before we're "allowed" to live. But there isn't an actual fashion police keeping me from baring my arms. I don't have to ask permission from my friends to be confident. Attractiveness isn't something given to you by others.
The year I blogged about my wild summer of giving up the "acceptable fatty" paradigm, I felt like I was really daring the disapproval of others by wearing tank tops and not covering up at the beach. In retrospect, I realized that other peoples' disapproval wasn't really my problem. They had no authority to tell me what was and wasn't okay to put on my body or show the world. I was the only one who had that authority. So what I was daring was my own disapproval. What I was doing was giving myself permission.
Make a list of your fantasies...you know, the whole "when I am thin (or strong, or in less pain, etc.) I will be or do......" list. How many of those things could you have right now, in the body you're in, if you give yourself permission? Could you flirt more? Dress differently? Feel good about yourself? Do more? Do less? How much of your fantasy is just you making your permission contingent on your weight or other physical attributes? What is really stopping you from giving yourself permission right now, instead of in some hypothetical future body?
He's right. Right down inside all the fantasies is the idea that we have to conform to someone else's idea of perfect before we're "allowed" to live. But there isn't an actual fashion police keeping me from baring my arms. I don't have to ask permission from my friends to be confident. Attractiveness isn't something given to you by others.
The year I blogged about my wild summer of giving up the "acceptable fatty" paradigm, I felt like I was really daring the disapproval of others by wearing tank tops and not covering up at the beach. In retrospect, I realized that other peoples' disapproval wasn't really my problem. They had no authority to tell me what was and wasn't okay to put on my body or show the world. I was the only one who had that authority. So what I was daring was my own disapproval. What I was doing was giving myself permission.
Make a list of your fantasies...you know, the whole "when I am thin (or strong, or in less pain, etc.) I will be or do......" list. How many of those things could you have right now, in the body you're in, if you give yourself permission? Could you flirt more? Dress differently? Feel good about yourself? Do more? Do less? How much of your fantasy is just you making your permission contingent on your weight or other physical attributes? What is really stopping you from giving yourself permission right now, instead of in some hypothetical future body?
Friday, February 10, 2012
SAAS: Sewing At Every Size -- Circle Skirts
This is my SAAS (Sewing at Any Size) series on basic clothes that can be made for any size body without a commercial pattern. For other entries in the series, you can click on the Sewing topic in the sidebar category list.
As this may eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish anywhere. You are welcome to copy/print/save for your own personal use.
The Circle Skirt
I have been slowly converting my wardrobe to a 1950's theme, with classic, tailored looks including the pencil skirt and the circle skirt.
The extreme example of a circle skirt is the Poodle, but they don't have to be that costumy. I love the clean A-line swish of the classic cut, but knee-length can be adorable for summer.
A circle skirt is right up there with the gored or pencil skirt for the easiest thing to make.
But first, the math.
You need the following measurements:
Your waist circumference
The length you want your skirt to fall from the waist
Yeah...that's it. But of course in an evil bait and switch, you also need the radius of your waist circumference (i.e. half the diameter of the circle). If you had geometry in school, go to it. Otherwise you can enter your waist circumference here to have the radius calculated for you.
Add the waist radius to the length you want your skirt. If the total is less than 45 inches, you can buy standard-width fabric. If the total is between 45 and 60 inches, you can buy 60 inch width fabric. Note that most natural fiber fabrics will shrink when pre-washed, so if your measurements are close to the limits, you'll need to use the more complicated cutting pattern below or buy fabric that won't shrink. Remember that you'll be adding a waistband and hem, so you can fudge about 1.5 inches.
simple cutting pattern
for those who can work with the 45" and 60" methods.
We'll call the waist radius plus length of skirt measurement (A).
Take a length of fabric (A) long Flatten it out and fold it in half lengthwise (i.e. bringing cut ends together) with right sides together. Then fold it in half the other direction. You should have 1/4 of the fabric with one corner containing a double fold and no raw edges.
We're drawing curves, so unless you're a pretty steady hand your best method is to create your own compass. Use a nail, heavy weight, corner of a table, etc as one end. Tie a piece of non-stretchy string around it at least long enough to stretch to measurement (A) plus several inches.
Put the double-fold corner of your fabric against the point you tied the string. From that corner, measure out the waist radius you obtain earlier. Pull the string taut to that point, and hold a pencil or piece of chalk with the string. As you move the chalk or pencil towards either edge of the fabric, the string will force it into a curve. You should now have 1/4 of an even circle marked on the fabric.
From the same corner, measure out (A), which should give you the length of the finished hem. Using the same technique with the string and chalk or pencil, draw another curve at this distance. When you're done, the mark should be the same length from the point along both edges of the fabric.
Now, without unfolding the fabric, cut along both curves. When you unfold the fabric, you should have a doughnut shape.
Finishing the Skirt
Add a waistband to the inside of the doughnut following directions in the post on a
gored/paneled skirt HERE.
Once you have a waistband, try on the skirt. Your body shape will affect the hemline, so note if it's too long.
If it falls just right, then make a narrow hem or use binding to finish the edge without changing length.
If it's too long, mark the point where it needs to be trimmed to, leaving 1/2 inch for a hem. Cut to the mark (you may want to fold the skirt in 1/4's and re-do a smooth curve as before) and hem, or leave off the hem allowance and use binding to finish the edge (recommended for stretchy fabric).
Adding some Body
For the classic full, poodle look, add some petticoats underneath, or several slips. You can make a very simple filler with cheap netting:
Take a length of elastic that fits your waist securely but not uncomfortably tight. Knot or stitch the ends together to make a loop.
Cut netting into 2" strips twice the length of your skirt.
Fold each strip in half. Set the loop of the fold (a.k.a. the bight) under the elastic, then bring the tails over the elastic, through the loop, and tighten. This is called a lark's head knot, and anyone who has done latch hook will recognize it.
Pull the tails tight. Continue tying strips in lark's head knots next to each other around the elastic loop.
If you do very short strips, this looks like a tutu. If you do longer strips, it will fill out a circle skirt pretty nicely.
If you want to get some twirling action with the circle skirt, you can get a more finished look by simply repeating the instructions on a silky fabric or tulle to make a second skirt. The extra layer gives you some fill, and when it flares out you get a flash of color.
As this may eventually become a book, please do not reprint or republish anywhere. You are welcome to copy/print/save for your own personal use.
The Circle Skirt
I have been slowly converting my wardrobe to a 1950's theme, with classic, tailored looks including the pencil skirt and the circle skirt.
The extreme example of a circle skirt is the Poodle, but they don't have to be that costumy. I love the clean A-line swish of the classic cut, but knee-length can be adorable for summer.
A circle skirt is right up there with the gored or pencil skirt for the easiest thing to make.
But first, the math.
You need the following measurements:
Your waist circumference
The length you want your skirt to fall from the waist
Yeah...that's it. But of course in an evil bait and switch, you also need the radius of your waist circumference (i.e. half the diameter of the circle). If you had geometry in school, go to it. Otherwise you can enter your waist circumference here to have the radius calculated for you.
Add the waist radius to the length you want your skirt. If the total is less than 45 inches, you can buy standard-width fabric. If the total is between 45 and 60 inches, you can buy 60 inch width fabric. Note that most natural fiber fabrics will shrink when pre-washed, so if your measurements are close to the limits, you'll need to use the more complicated cutting pattern below or buy fabric that won't shrink. Remember that you'll be adding a waistband and hem, so you can fudge about 1.5 inches.
simple cutting pattern
for those who can work with the 45" and 60" methods.
We'll call the waist radius plus length of skirt measurement (A).
Take a length of fabric (A) long Flatten it out and fold it in half lengthwise (i.e. bringing cut ends together) with right sides together. Then fold it in half the other direction. You should have 1/4 of the fabric with one corner containing a double fold and no raw edges.
We're drawing curves, so unless you're a pretty steady hand your best method is to create your own compass. Use a nail, heavy weight, corner of a table, etc as one end. Tie a piece of non-stretchy string around it at least long enough to stretch to measurement (A) plus several inches.
Put the double-fold corner of your fabric against the point you tied the string. From that corner, measure out the waist radius you obtain earlier. Pull the string taut to that point, and hold a pencil or piece of chalk with the string. As you move the chalk or pencil towards either edge of the fabric, the string will force it into a curve. You should now have 1/4 of an even circle marked on the fabric.
From the same corner, measure out (A), which should give you the length of the finished hem. Using the same technique with the string and chalk or pencil, draw another curve at this distance. When you're done, the mark should be the same length from the point along both edges of the fabric.
Now, without unfolding the fabric, cut along both curves. When you unfold the fabric, you should have a doughnut shape.
Complex Cutting Pattern
For those who need more than the 60 inches, or are in love with a narrower fabric.
Using craft paper, an old bedsheet, etc, trace a square that is 1/4 of measurement (A) on all four sides.
Follow the tracing and cutting directions above to create a single, 1/4 slice of the doughnut.
Trace the slice onto the wrong side of your fabric four times, and cut out each slice.
Stitch the slices together to create your full doughnut.
Finishing the Skirt
Add a waistband to the inside of the doughnut following directions in the post on a
gored/paneled skirt HERE.
Once you have a waistband, try on the skirt. Your body shape will affect the hemline, so note if it's too long.
If it falls just right, then make a narrow hem or use binding to finish the edge without changing length.
If it's too long, mark the point where it needs to be trimmed to, leaving 1/2 inch for a hem. Cut to the mark (you may want to fold the skirt in 1/4's and re-do a smooth curve as before) and hem, or leave off the hem allowance and use binding to finish the edge (recommended for stretchy fabric).
Adding some Body
For the classic full, poodle look, add some petticoats underneath, or several slips. You can make a very simple filler with cheap netting:
Take a length of elastic that fits your waist securely but not uncomfortably tight. Knot or stitch the ends together to make a loop.
Cut netting into 2" strips twice the length of your skirt.
Fold each strip in half. Set the loop of the fold (a.k.a. the bight) under the elastic, then bring the tails over the elastic, through the loop, and tighten. This is called a lark's head knot, and anyone who has done latch hook will recognize it.
Pull the tails tight. Continue tying strips in lark's head knots next to each other around the elastic loop.
If you do very short strips, this looks like a tutu. If you do longer strips, it will fill out a circle skirt pretty nicely.
If you want to get some twirling action with the circle skirt, you can get a more finished look by simply repeating the instructions on a silky fabric or tulle to make a second skirt. The extra layer gives you some fill, and when it flares out you get a flash of color.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
How to let yourself intersect
Intersectionality was originally put forth as a feminist concept, but has since spread to many other sociological arenas. Essentially, it says that none of us live any part of our lives in a vacuum. When we talk about fat discrimination, our gender, race, height, coloring, socioeconomic level, immigrant status, and a million other aspects of ourselves affect both the discrimination and our reaction to it. A fat gamer has a different experience of discrimination than a fat lawyer, who has a different experience than a fat mother.
One thing I see most people do if they are part of a subculture or non-mainstream identity is to segregate each aspect of their experience and create entirely separate lives for each one. I am a different person when I am a gamer. I have a specific set of gamer friends, a specific vocabulary, and a specific demeanor that comes out when I am gaming or around just gamers. Erving Goffman and other theorists within the dramaturgical perspective would say that I have a specific gamer "mask" that I wear when I am in that environment.
A sociological mask is very different from what people call "posing." This isn't attempting to act like someone else in order to fit in. My gamer mask is ME. It is an essential part of myself, with certain attributes that are emphasized and others that are de-emphasized. For instance, I swear more. I don't avoid swearing normally, but for some reason dice bring out the F-bombs in me. And the aggression. You have masks of your own, unless you are extremely unusual, have certain developmental or personality disorders, or experience poor audience awareness like that which comes with the Autism spectrum. You probably behave differently at work than at a party with friends, or with your grandparents. You are still you, but you have adapted to your social environment.
One of the effects of this is that I keep different parts of my life separate. If I have a party and invite both gamer friends and co-workers, I will have an internal conflict as to which mask I am in. So I don't. I don't talk about work around my Pagan friends. I don't talk about gaming at work.
And here's the important bit: I don't talk about FA much in either place, beyond "not interested in hearing about your diet" comments.
But I am still fat at a game, at work, and at a festival.
FA is applicable. I just don't always overcome the barriers to talking about it. Maybe I don't want to be seen as the "oversensitive, aggressively politically correct activist." After all, many of the groups I'm in are not exactly socially aware and it's easy to come across as overly strident. Maybe I just feel it is too personal. But every now and then, something happens to remind me that it's not always personal. Every circle of friends has people who are miserably uncomfortable in their own bodies because they have internalized hateful messages.
So, if you're looking for a way to become more of an activist (and no one is obligated to do so), why not look close to home? Could you start a forum or Yahoo Group for body acceptance geared specifically towards your spiritual group and invite your friends? Could you start something for people with common interests? Wouldn't it be cool to see an FA tattoo group called "Fat Ink"? How about a motorcycle group called "Big Wheels"? How about a Pagan HAES cooking group called "Magically Delicious"? Of course these are somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but you get the point. More and more, our society is fragmenting into very specific interest groups with the power of sheer numbers on the internet to provide specific community within those groups.
By reaching out to people who have very specific interests, you can really target your message to them. If you have a Christian FA group, you can talk about FA in the language of Christianity (i.e. God's love for bodies and how we should love the bodies he created for us). If you have a Pagan FA group, you can talk about FA in the language of Paganism (i.e. appreciating your body as a spiritual warrior, nurturing it as a healer, loving the strength and pleasure it gives you to experience the world.) If you have a crafter's FA group, you can talk about altering or creating sewing patterns for people of size, or body acceptance issues in scrapbooking (i.e. dare to be in the picture!!) You don't have to worry about alienating others by using language specific to your identity, because others in that forum share that identity.
Here are some specific tips for starting a topic-specific FA group or thre
1. Don't hijack existing forums. This is important, because going into a "Dieting Vikings" forum and preaching FA is called trolling. Create your own forum. If you don't want to run a full forum, ask an existing group owner if you can either start a thread or send an invite for a face-to-face meeting group with like interests.
2. Check for interest first. Just send a shout-out: "Would anyone here be interested in a (thread, forum, meeting group) to talk about body acceptance and size diversity within our community?" I did that in a local forum and got over a dozen enthusiastic responses (and no trolls).
3. The best part of starting in new territory is that none of it has been said before! You can go through archives of any FA blog and find discussion topics. Ask blog owners for permission to print copies of posts (or link to them) for reading and discussion. Re-visit the topics that are well covered in the Fatosphere but entirely new to this group. What a fantastic opportunity to start fresh!
4. You don't have to be an expert to start a group. Let people know that this is something you're just getting into and ask if anyone wants to explore it with you. Sometimes it's even less intimidating for them that you're all new together.
So let FA intersect with other parts of you and your life, if you feel safe doing so. I think you'd be surprised at how relevant it really is.
One thing I see most people do if they are part of a subculture or non-mainstream identity is to segregate each aspect of their experience and create entirely separate lives for each one. I am a different person when I am a gamer. I have a specific set of gamer friends, a specific vocabulary, and a specific demeanor that comes out when I am gaming or around just gamers. Erving Goffman and other theorists within the dramaturgical perspective would say that I have a specific gamer "mask" that I wear when I am in that environment.
A sociological mask is very different from what people call "posing." This isn't attempting to act like someone else in order to fit in. My gamer mask is ME. It is an essential part of myself, with certain attributes that are emphasized and others that are de-emphasized. For instance, I swear more. I don't avoid swearing normally, but for some reason dice bring out the F-bombs in me. And the aggression. You have masks of your own, unless you are extremely unusual, have certain developmental or personality disorders, or experience poor audience awareness like that which comes with the Autism spectrum. You probably behave differently at work than at a party with friends, or with your grandparents. You are still you, but you have adapted to your social environment.
One of the effects of this is that I keep different parts of my life separate. If I have a party and invite both gamer friends and co-workers, I will have an internal conflict as to which mask I am in. So I don't. I don't talk about work around my Pagan friends. I don't talk about gaming at work.
And here's the important bit: I don't talk about FA much in either place, beyond "not interested in hearing about your diet" comments.
But I am still fat at a game, at work, and at a festival.
FA is applicable. I just don't always overcome the barriers to talking about it. Maybe I don't want to be seen as the "oversensitive, aggressively politically correct activist." After all, many of the groups I'm in are not exactly socially aware and it's easy to come across as overly strident. Maybe I just feel it is too personal. But every now and then, something happens to remind me that it's not always personal. Every circle of friends has people who are miserably uncomfortable in their own bodies because they have internalized hateful messages.
So, if you're looking for a way to become more of an activist (and no one is obligated to do so), why not look close to home? Could you start a forum or Yahoo Group for body acceptance geared specifically towards your spiritual group and invite your friends? Could you start something for people with common interests? Wouldn't it be cool to see an FA tattoo group called "Fat Ink"? How about a motorcycle group called "Big Wheels"? How about a Pagan HAES cooking group called "Magically Delicious"? Of course these are somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but you get the point. More and more, our society is fragmenting into very specific interest groups with the power of sheer numbers on the internet to provide specific community within those groups.
By reaching out to people who have very specific interests, you can really target your message to them. If you have a Christian FA group, you can talk about FA in the language of Christianity (i.e. God's love for bodies and how we should love the bodies he created for us). If you have a Pagan FA group, you can talk about FA in the language of Paganism (i.e. appreciating your body as a spiritual warrior, nurturing it as a healer, loving the strength and pleasure it gives you to experience the world.) If you have a crafter's FA group, you can talk about altering or creating sewing patterns for people of size, or body acceptance issues in scrapbooking (i.e. dare to be in the picture!!) You don't have to worry about alienating others by using language specific to your identity, because others in that forum share that identity.
Here are some specific tips for starting a topic-specific FA group or thre
1. Don't hijack existing forums. This is important, because going into a "Dieting Vikings" forum and preaching FA is called trolling. Create your own forum. If you don't want to run a full forum, ask an existing group owner if you can either start a thread or send an invite for a face-to-face meeting group with like interests.
2. Check for interest first. Just send a shout-out: "Would anyone here be interested in a (thread, forum, meeting group) to talk about body acceptance and size diversity within our community?" I did that in a local forum and got over a dozen enthusiastic responses (and no trolls).
3. The best part of starting in new territory is that none of it has been said before! You can go through archives of any FA blog and find discussion topics. Ask blog owners for permission to print copies of posts (or link to them) for reading and discussion. Re-visit the topics that are well covered in the Fatosphere but entirely new to this group. What a fantastic opportunity to start fresh!
4. You don't have to be an expert to start a group. Let people know that this is something you're just getting into and ask if anyone wants to explore it with you. Sometimes it's even less intimidating for them that you're all new together.
So let FA intersect with other parts of you and your life, if you feel safe doing so. I think you'd be surprised at how relevant it really is.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
One small step for man....
One giant leap for all human rights. Prop 8 gets one more critical blow from the justice system, which is finally living up to its name.
A quote from Judge Stephen Reinhardt:
"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples. The Constitution simply does not allow for 'laws of this sort.'"
What a great day to celebrate human dignity and diversity!
A quote from Judge Stephen Reinhardt:
"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples. The Constitution simply does not allow for 'laws of this sort.'"
What a great day to celebrate human dignity and diversity!
We Stand
Thank you, Marilyn Wann and all her photoshopping volunteers for putting together this project. It means a lot to us to be able to take a stand.
If you haven't already donated to Ragen Chastain's fundraiser to put billboards up in Atlanta, GA protesting fat-shaming of children, they still need a few hundred donors to get a giant matching donation! You can donate as little as a dollar, or as much as you'd like. This is some real, tangible, and awesome public activism that you can be a part of.
More information can be found at her blog Dances With Fat.
Monday, February 6, 2012
On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 5)
This is part 5 of my series addressing the question of a caller on the first Body Love Revolution Telesummit. The caller was asking about the place for thin people (especially men) in the fat acceptance movement. Please read Part 1 for background.
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
In this last post on this, I want to address the final element of the question: whether the participation of men is encouraged, threatening, or irrelevant to the FA movement.
Way back in 2009 there was a debate about men in Fat Acceptance feeling marginalized, and I commented on it.
Sadly, I think there's even fewer men blogging in the Fatosphere today than there were back then. Brian is still going at Red No. 3, and continues to be a great voice for fat men. There are a few male contributors at Axis of Fat. Atchka posts at Fierce, Freethinking Fatties. Those are the active bloggers I know of. (Please let me know if you're a man and I've missed your blog!) Paul Campos is also still writing articles all over the media attacking weight bias.
Feminism has always been tied closely to the FA movement, because historically women in our country have been held to a stricter and more physical standard of attractiveness than men. While most academic feminists are simply looking to be treated as equal humans, unfortunately there are some advocates of popular feminism that attempt to cast men as the enemy. They classify all men as physically, mentally, and sexually dangerous. They believe that men get a "free pass" when it comes to weight and appearance, and therefore suspect them of trying to co-opt FA and dominate the women's voices. Usually when men speak critically of feminism as "man-hating," they're speaking of a very narrow but vocal sect of feminists.
I don't blame men for feeling excluded from FA. The majority of the voices are women. The fashion posts generally cover women's clothing. A loud minority tells them they are all potential rapists and deserve to be treated as such. Add to this a societal pressure to be both strong and silent, and to take responsibility for everything that happens in the world, and you have a dearth of men willing to stand up and fight/blog for feelings of oppression.
So when encountering men in FA, a woman may ask herself "Why is he here?" Generally it's because he supports FA. Sometimes he may be seeking a sexual or romantic partner. Sometimes women will simply assume that the man is a fat admirer looking for a partner, which is a poor assumption to make. I've been told by several sources that historically, FA was focused on providing a safe and supportive atmosphere for romantic hook-ups, (including in comments earlier in this series) but while a lot of that exists today, there's a balance of political and social activism as well.
Fat Activist Men
More and more, men are being targeted for the same body and weight issues that have been foisted on women. The rate of eating disorders in men has skyrocketed in the last decade. The ideal of the strong, muscled man has given way to the ideal of the forever slim, youthful man in popular media. Mannequins for male clothing stores are coming out with 27 inch waistlines. In a competitive job market, fat men are less likely to be hired or promoted. They are depicted as undesirable partners on TV, and are subject to the same stereotypes of lazy, weak and gluttonous as women.
Men are also under pressure to choose partners that conform to the beauty ideal set by our society. Straight men are under peer pressure to obtain the thin, large-breasted, medium-tall woman who can fit into a sample dress. A postcard on Post Secret said it best: "I love you, but I broke up with you because my friends laughed at me for dating a fat girl."
Thin men, of course have the same vested interest as all thin people in creating a size diverse society; they have family, friends, partners, children, and potential future weight changes in their lives.
All this adds up to men having a voice and role in Fat Activism. We women need to examine what we do to make them feel unwelcome in the community. Do you include content in your blog that appeals to men? I look back on my own blog and am guilty on this count. To some extent, there's a certain natural progression where women sharing their personal experiences will be more relevant to other women. But those of us that share general content may want to make an effort to include gender-neutral or gender-diverse content. How many FA women with fat male partners or friends post fashion and shopping choices they make? How many Fatshionistas include links and reviews for shops that sell large mens' options? Also, what is the tone we take when discussing men? Do we make generalizations of them as dangerous, insensitive, or sexually aggressive? Do we use value-neutral language?
The truth is that the FA community isn't yet perfectly accepting of men. But it can be.
Fat Dating
The other can of worms inherent in the question of men in FA is, of course, dating. Men who are attracted to fat women sometimes seek out FA as a way to meet potential partners. Heck, many women seek out FA as a way to meet potential partners. It's a pre-screening option against rejection due to weight bigotry. There are FA dances, outings, vacations, forums, chat rooms, and other opportunities to seek out all levels of friends and lovers.
Not everyone is looking. Some of us are in stable, monogamous or closed polyamorous relationships. Some are taking a break from romantic relationships in order to spend some "me" time and get their heads straight (I did this for a few years). Some are looking for partners of a gender that isn't yours.
And I really, really hate to have to include it, but here it is: Fat women aren't desperate. It is a common myth in our culture. Every slapstick comedy seems to trot out the big woman in a flowered dress who throws herself aggressively (to stalking/assault levels) at someone in the movie. Usually it's the man deemed least attractive by our cultural standards. If you're attracted to fat women, you'll do everyone a lot of favors if you clear this particular stereotype from your head before you seek us out.
In general, the rules for dating in FA are the same as they are for dating anywhere; don't be an asshat. Respect the No. Respect body boundaries (no touching without permission). Don't be a troll. Most visible FA women have had an experience somewhere along the lines of this, and it doesn't endear us to solicitations in general. Keep flirtation and solicitation appropriate to the environment and context. Respect the No. This message is for men AND women. The latter sometimes feel they have license to be sexually aggressive towards men in a way they would never tolerate if the roles were reversed.
In conclusion, men are welcome and necessary to Fat Acceptance. There will always be a few people who disagree and think that FA should be some exclusive magical vagina rainbow connection, but I don't think that's a healthy or constructive way to view the movement as a whole. As with thin people, there will be fat activist women who resent men's social power, feel threatened, or simply fail to be inclusive. That is the reality. The ideal should be to realize that we can't have a fat accepting culture by only enlisting half the culture; we can only have war. We are not men or women at every size, we are human at every size.
******
This marks the end of this five-part series on thin/male inclusion in FA, a movement that predominantly identifies as female and fat. I'm generally open to learning, correcting and clarifying my thinking on this or most other issues; especially when it is this complex and full of subtext. So please voice your opinion in the comments if you feel I'm off track on any of these posts.
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
In this last post on this, I want to address the final element of the question: whether the participation of men is encouraged, threatening, or irrelevant to the FA movement.
Way back in 2009 there was a debate about men in Fat Acceptance feeling marginalized, and I commented on it.
Sadly, I think there's even fewer men blogging in the Fatosphere today than there were back then. Brian is still going at Red No. 3, and continues to be a great voice for fat men. There are a few male contributors at Axis of Fat. Atchka posts at Fierce, Freethinking Fatties. Those are the active bloggers I know of. (Please let me know if you're a man and I've missed your blog!) Paul Campos is also still writing articles all over the media attacking weight bias.
Feminism has always been tied closely to the FA movement, because historically women in our country have been held to a stricter and more physical standard of attractiveness than men. While most academic feminists are simply looking to be treated as equal humans, unfortunately there are some advocates of popular feminism that attempt to cast men as the enemy. They classify all men as physically, mentally, and sexually dangerous. They believe that men get a "free pass" when it comes to weight and appearance, and therefore suspect them of trying to co-opt FA and dominate the women's voices. Usually when men speak critically of feminism as "man-hating," they're speaking of a very narrow but vocal sect of feminists.
I don't blame men for feeling excluded from FA. The majority of the voices are women. The fashion posts generally cover women's clothing. A loud minority tells them they are all potential rapists and deserve to be treated as such. Add to this a societal pressure to be both strong and silent, and to take responsibility for everything that happens in the world, and you have a dearth of men willing to stand up and fight/blog for feelings of oppression.
So when encountering men in FA, a woman may ask herself "Why is he here?" Generally it's because he supports FA. Sometimes he may be seeking a sexual or romantic partner. Sometimes women will simply assume that the man is a fat admirer looking for a partner, which is a poor assumption to make. I've been told by several sources that historically, FA was focused on providing a safe and supportive atmosphere for romantic hook-ups, (including in comments earlier in this series) but while a lot of that exists today, there's a balance of political and social activism as well.
Fat Activist Men
More and more, men are being targeted for the same body and weight issues that have been foisted on women. The rate of eating disorders in men has skyrocketed in the last decade. The ideal of the strong, muscled man has given way to the ideal of the forever slim, youthful man in popular media. Mannequins for male clothing stores are coming out with 27 inch waistlines. In a competitive job market, fat men are less likely to be hired or promoted. They are depicted as undesirable partners on TV, and are subject to the same stereotypes of lazy, weak and gluttonous as women.
Men are also under pressure to choose partners that conform to the beauty ideal set by our society. Straight men are under peer pressure to obtain the thin, large-breasted, medium-tall woman who can fit into a sample dress. A postcard on Post Secret said it best: "I love you, but I broke up with you because my friends laughed at me for dating a fat girl."
Thin men, of course have the same vested interest as all thin people in creating a size diverse society; they have family, friends, partners, children, and potential future weight changes in their lives.
All this adds up to men having a voice and role in Fat Activism. We women need to examine what we do to make them feel unwelcome in the community. Do you include content in your blog that appeals to men? I look back on my own blog and am guilty on this count. To some extent, there's a certain natural progression where women sharing their personal experiences will be more relevant to other women. But those of us that share general content may want to make an effort to include gender-neutral or gender-diverse content. How many FA women with fat male partners or friends post fashion and shopping choices they make? How many Fatshionistas include links and reviews for shops that sell large mens' options? Also, what is the tone we take when discussing men? Do we make generalizations of them as dangerous, insensitive, or sexually aggressive? Do we use value-neutral language?
The truth is that the FA community isn't yet perfectly accepting of men. But it can be.
Fat Dating
The other can of worms inherent in the question of men in FA is, of course, dating. Men who are attracted to fat women sometimes seek out FA as a way to meet potential partners. Heck, many women seek out FA as a way to meet potential partners. It's a pre-screening option against rejection due to weight bigotry. There are FA dances, outings, vacations, forums, chat rooms, and other opportunities to seek out all levels of friends and lovers.
Not everyone is looking. Some of us are in stable, monogamous or closed polyamorous relationships. Some are taking a break from romantic relationships in order to spend some "me" time and get their heads straight (I did this for a few years). Some are looking for partners of a gender that isn't yours.
And I really, really hate to have to include it, but here it is: Fat women aren't desperate. It is a common myth in our culture. Every slapstick comedy seems to trot out the big woman in a flowered dress who throws herself aggressively (to stalking/assault levels) at someone in the movie. Usually it's the man deemed least attractive by our cultural standards. If you're attracted to fat women, you'll do everyone a lot of favors if you clear this particular stereotype from your head before you seek us out.
In general, the rules for dating in FA are the same as they are for dating anywhere; don't be an asshat. Respect the No. Respect body boundaries (no touching without permission). Don't be a troll. Most visible FA women have had an experience somewhere along the lines of this, and it doesn't endear us to solicitations in general. Keep flirtation and solicitation appropriate to the environment and context. Respect the No. This message is for men AND women. The latter sometimes feel they have license to be sexually aggressive towards men in a way they would never tolerate if the roles were reversed.
In conclusion, men are welcome and necessary to Fat Acceptance. There will always be a few people who disagree and think that FA should be some exclusive magical vagina rainbow connection, but I don't think that's a healthy or constructive way to view the movement as a whole. As with thin people, there will be fat activist women who resent men's social power, feel threatened, or simply fail to be inclusive. That is the reality. The ideal should be to realize that we can't have a fat accepting culture by only enlisting half the culture; we can only have war. We are not men or women at every size, we are human at every size.
******
This marks the end of this five-part series on thin/male inclusion in FA, a movement that predominantly identifies as female and fat. I'm generally open to learning, correcting and clarifying my thinking on this or most other issues; especially when it is this complex and full of subtext. So please voice your opinion in the comments if you feel I'm off track on any of these posts.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 4)
This is part 4 of my series addressing the question of a caller on the first Body Love Revolution Telesummit. The caller was asking about the place for thin people (especially men) in the fat acceptance movement. Please read Part 1 for background.
Part 2
Part 3
In this post, I'm addressing the element of the question that is how a thin person can respectfully lend their support to the movement without co-opting the voices or having personal experience as a target of weight bigotry.
1. Every Experience is Different.
Let me start off with addressing the fact that everyone has some experience with prejudice. Whether you were bullied as a child for some arbitrary reason, or received snarky comments and hostility from service personnel or people in authority, everyone has had some experience. The trouble is that most people have trouble with the abstract thinking involved in extrapolating their experience to that of others. You can't assume that everyone felt or reacted the same way, because so much depends on personality, resources, and the level of empowerment you were allowed to develop throughout your life.
So when you say you've experienced, say, prejudice as a gay man, you'll probably get a response that somehow expresses how different that experience was from that of the fat person you're talking to. If done without a lot of insight, this can lead to a "more oppressed than thou" exchange. "Sure you got fired because your boss is homophobic, but at least you can HIDE what makes you different if you choose! I can't just not tell people I'm fat! That's why I can't get hired in the first place!"
Picking apart this exchange, you find that the fat person feels that they have to somehow defend and justify their experience and feelings. You may be trying to relate to them by extrapolating an experience of your own, but they may easily take it as (a) one-upmanship or (b) an attempt to negate or minimize their experience and what they're feeling. Your experiences are your own and you are an excellent witness to them; but don't assume that your experiences are similar to another's. Comparing oppressions is a no-win situation. Turn this into a more constructive conversation that acknowledges both experiences.
2. Examine Your Privilege.
As a thin person, you have certain benefits the world grants you whether you seek them or not. When you are in FA, you need to realize that a fat person's navigation of the world is very different. It's easy to say, "why don't you just do/say this?" when you do not have the weight of many years of intimidation and damage in your history. For instance, it's easy to suggest standing up to an asshat on a bus, but doing so is an act of extraordinary courage when you've been taught all your life to not draw attention to yourself and expect violence and shame when you do.
You also have privilege when it comes to many other areas of life. Understand that when you invite a fat friend to go clothes shopping, they may not find clothes they can wear in the store you visit. In addition, going to the mall or a size-limited clothing store means standing out like a sore thumb, getting glares from supercilious staff and hearing mocking titters from other shoppers. It can be an exercise in humiliation. Respect a friend's discomfort if they don't want to go. Or, if you take a fat friend shopping, plan to spend at least as much time in stores that carry clothes they can wear.
3. Put your money where your mouth is.
Your thin privilege does give you power in the world that can be wielded quite effectively against size prejudice. Clothing stores might not be used to hearing from customers who COULD be shopping in their store, but refuse to do so until they carry quality plus-size lines. Avoid giving money to companies that promote fat-hate (i.e. Subway, Slimfast) and let them know why. You have a lot of opportunity to make a real difference.
4. Let the fat person's words be heard.
Give them a chance to speak, be visible, and be confident in defending themselves. Validate their experience. They may be grateful for you standing up to defend them in a confrontation, but if they're already doing a good job of it, be willing to take a supporting role. Encourage fat people to speak through blogs, events and forums, instead of speaking for them. Then you can add your own voice. Acknowledge that they are the best witness to their experience, especially with prejudice.
If you were in on the Thursday, 2/2 Telesummit, you would have heard a wonderful example of this practice from Linda Bacon, a fierce ally in the fight for size diversity and HAES. She deferred to Ragen Chastain (a fat professional dancer and HAES advocate) and solicited her opinion and experience throughout the call, and made sure that she didn't dominate the conversation. When Ragen was cut off by a technological glitch, Linda tried her best to answer a caller's question about Ragen's experience based on what she'd been told, but worded it in a way that did not co-opt Ragen's voice and recommended that the caller ask Ragen again sometime to make sure she got Ragen's answer. She was respectful and professional.
5. Respect the triggers.
Don't complain about your own weight. In fact, eliminate negative body talk from your conversations altogether. Don't criticize food choices, activity levels, or talk about dieting. Don't ask if someone is losing weight; especially in a tone of voice that implies that it's assumed to be a positive change. If someone wants you to know their body is changing, they will bring it up. If you don't know the triggers, be willing to listen respectfully and be corrected until you do. Every subculture has their own language, and words might not have the same connotations as you're used to (e.g. "fat" or "queer").
6. Be a model
Not the catwalk kind; the developmental learning kind. Role models also come in all sizes. Set and defend boundaries concerning your own body. When someone gives you a size-based compliment, consider using it as an opportunity to educate the complimenter ("thanks, but I'd be just as pretty if I wasn't thin/tall/etc."). Eliminate negative body talk (your own body or anyone else's) from your vocabulary and encourage those around you to do the same. Don't let doctors (or anyone else) make assumptions about your health based on your size. Refuse to be weighed in the Doctor's office if it's not relevant to treatment, and let them know why. Love your body and yourself at your size. Regardless of your weight, you can inspire others and act as a template for their own behavior.
As I've said, everyone (fat or thin) has a stake and voice in reducing size prejudice in our culture! I feel that even if a thin person adopts none of these, diets constantly, and still believes that people deserve the same human rights regardless of size, they are part of the solution and deserve the same kudos we give anyone who raises a hand for what they feel is right. We're all in this together.
Part 2
Part 3
In this post, I'm addressing the element of the question that is how a thin person can respectfully lend their support to the movement without co-opting the voices or having personal experience as a target of weight bigotry.
1. Every Experience is Different.
Let me start off with addressing the fact that everyone has some experience with prejudice. Whether you were bullied as a child for some arbitrary reason, or received snarky comments and hostility from service personnel or people in authority, everyone has had some experience. The trouble is that most people have trouble with the abstract thinking involved in extrapolating their experience to that of others. You can't assume that everyone felt or reacted the same way, because so much depends on personality, resources, and the level of empowerment you were allowed to develop throughout your life.
So when you say you've experienced, say, prejudice as a gay man, you'll probably get a response that somehow expresses how different that experience was from that of the fat person you're talking to. If done without a lot of insight, this can lead to a "more oppressed than thou" exchange. "Sure you got fired because your boss is homophobic, but at least you can HIDE what makes you different if you choose! I can't just not tell people I'm fat! That's why I can't get hired in the first place!"
Picking apart this exchange, you find that the fat person feels that they have to somehow defend and justify their experience and feelings. You may be trying to relate to them by extrapolating an experience of your own, but they may easily take it as (a) one-upmanship or (b) an attempt to negate or minimize their experience and what they're feeling. Your experiences are your own and you are an excellent witness to them; but don't assume that your experiences are similar to another's. Comparing oppressions is a no-win situation. Turn this into a more constructive conversation that acknowledges both experiences.
2. Examine Your Privilege.
As a thin person, you have certain benefits the world grants you whether you seek them or not. When you are in FA, you need to realize that a fat person's navigation of the world is very different. It's easy to say, "why don't you just do/say this?" when you do not have the weight of many years of intimidation and damage in your history. For instance, it's easy to suggest standing up to an asshat on a bus, but doing so is an act of extraordinary courage when you've been taught all your life to not draw attention to yourself and expect violence and shame when you do.
You also have privilege when it comes to many other areas of life. Understand that when you invite a fat friend to go clothes shopping, they may not find clothes they can wear in the store you visit. In addition, going to the mall or a size-limited clothing store means standing out like a sore thumb, getting glares from supercilious staff and hearing mocking titters from other shoppers. It can be an exercise in humiliation. Respect a friend's discomfort if they don't want to go. Or, if you take a fat friend shopping, plan to spend at least as much time in stores that carry clothes they can wear.
3. Put your money where your mouth is.
Your thin privilege does give you power in the world that can be wielded quite effectively against size prejudice. Clothing stores might not be used to hearing from customers who COULD be shopping in their store, but refuse to do so until they carry quality plus-size lines. Avoid giving money to companies that promote fat-hate (i.e. Subway, Slimfast) and let them know why. You have a lot of opportunity to make a real difference.
4. Let the fat person's words be heard.
Give them a chance to speak, be visible, and be confident in defending themselves. Validate their experience. They may be grateful for you standing up to defend them in a confrontation, but if they're already doing a good job of it, be willing to take a supporting role. Encourage fat people to speak through blogs, events and forums, instead of speaking for them. Then you can add your own voice. Acknowledge that they are the best witness to their experience, especially with prejudice.
If you were in on the Thursday, 2/2 Telesummit, you would have heard a wonderful example of this practice from Linda Bacon, a fierce ally in the fight for size diversity and HAES. She deferred to Ragen Chastain (a fat professional dancer and HAES advocate) and solicited her opinion and experience throughout the call, and made sure that she didn't dominate the conversation. When Ragen was cut off by a technological glitch, Linda tried her best to answer a caller's question about Ragen's experience based on what she'd been told, but worded it in a way that did not co-opt Ragen's voice and recommended that the caller ask Ragen again sometime to make sure she got Ragen's answer. She was respectful and professional.
5. Respect the triggers.
Don't complain about your own weight. In fact, eliminate negative body talk from your conversations altogether. Don't criticize food choices, activity levels, or talk about dieting. Don't ask if someone is losing weight; especially in a tone of voice that implies that it's assumed to be a positive change. If someone wants you to know their body is changing, they will bring it up. If you don't know the triggers, be willing to listen respectfully and be corrected until you do. Every subculture has their own language, and words might not have the same connotations as you're used to (e.g. "fat" or "queer").
6. Be a model
Not the catwalk kind; the developmental learning kind. Role models also come in all sizes. Set and defend boundaries concerning your own body. When someone gives you a size-based compliment, consider using it as an opportunity to educate the complimenter ("thanks, but I'd be just as pretty if I wasn't thin/tall/etc."). Eliminate negative body talk (your own body or anyone else's) from your vocabulary and encourage those around you to do the same. Don't let doctors (or anyone else) make assumptions about your health based on your size. Refuse to be weighed in the Doctor's office if it's not relevant to treatment, and let them know why. Love your body and yourself at your size. Regardless of your weight, you can inspire others and act as a template for their own behavior.
As I've said, everyone (fat or thin) has a stake and voice in reducing size prejudice in our culture! I feel that even if a thin person adopts none of these, diets constantly, and still believes that people deserve the same human rights regardless of size, they are part of the solution and deserve the same kudos we give anyone who raises a hand for what they feel is right. We're all in this together.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 3)
This is part 3 of my series addressing the question of a caller on the first Body Love Revolution Telesummit. The caller was asking about the place for thin people (especially men) in the fat acceptance movement. Please read Part 1 for background.
Part 2 was posted yesterday.
In Part 2, I addressed whether there is specific hostility towards thin people in FA. In this post, I want to address the part of the caller's question asking whether thin people are welcomed as part of the "family" in FA.
There's a lot of crossover with the last section, but there are also enough nuances here to warrant its own posting. Here's the thing; you can fight with a group you don't identify as part of in order to secure rights for that group. But that doesn't change your identity or your privilege.
As much as we are all fighting for the idea of equality and for all humans to be treated as humans regardless of size, we fat people cannot completely ignore the fact that for thin people, this is a choice. They are already accepted. In fact they are held up as the ideal. They can't help this anymore than I can help being considered the opposite. That's what privilege means; you are granted a certain social status based on criteria outside of your reasonable control.
I consider myself an ally of the LGTBQ community. I write my government representatives on LGTBQ issues, push for awareness amongst the people close to me, and try to confront prejudice when I encounter it. I also vote. But all the advocacy I can engage in does not make me part of the "family". There is always a certain divide between me and my experiences, and my LGTBQ friends. I have privilege. I can get married, talk about my partner at work without retribution or stigma, and generally not have to worry about being subject to a certain kind of discrimination in housing, employment, or service because of my identity as straight and cis-gendered. When someone complains that they encountered LGTBQ bigotry, I can listen and empathize, but I can't relate. Not on the same level as someone who has also had that experience. I can try to extend my own experiences with fat discrimination, but it really isn't the same.
I have many thin friends who don't see me as a body size. But every now and then one of my thin friends will say something. They will talk about their latest diet, or complain about the size of their hips, or laugh over a "huge" pair of pants at a clothing store without remember that I wear an even larger size. They will make an unwitting comment that they would have never made if they knew it was hurtful, but their experience does not fully sensitize them to the nuances of fat prejudice. I expect this, and suspect other fat people do as well. There is a certain wariness and awkwardness I sometimes feel around thin people who aren't aware of their privilege. They may accept me, but they also have a certain power to hurt me. Even if they never use it, I can't ignore that power.
This is why only fat people can make fat jokes, or why only gay people can make gay jokes, or why only women can make cracks about PMS. This is the perfect example to highlight a very subtle form of otherness. I can make a joke that expresses my identity or my frustration with associated issues. You can't, because you are making them from the outside. It does make a difference.
Just to prevent anyone from thinking I'm throwing stones here, I want to give an example where it was entirely my fuck-up. I heard the other day that Canadian airlines are not allowing people to fly if their dress and appearance doesn't match the gender on their driver's license or I.D. I was really angry, and made a snarky crack about how Canada is forcing people to cross-dress in order to fly. My intention was to validate people's gender identity and highlight the ridiculousness of the rule. If a woman was born male (Canada won't change gender on official documents unless you're post-op) then she would have to dress up like a man in order to get on the plane. Here's the problem; I'm cis-gendered. As an outsider, my joke could just as easily be interpreted as reinforcing Canada's justification for the rule by saying it was easy to just put on different clothes for the flight. My intentions don't count; only the effect of my words. Luckily I have people around who call me on this kind of thing so that I can stop acting unintentionally like a jackass.
Now after pointing out the otherness, let me emphasize that I'm NOT saying thin people aren't welcome in this movement. Thin people have a vested interest in supporting size diversity, and we fat people need to acknowledge it. Thin people have friends, family, children, past and future size changes, employees, employers, and a hundred other reasons why they, personally, need to create a world without size prejudice. They are bombarded with "conform or die" messages every day that try to convince them to hate and fear others. They are told that their privilege, worth, attractiveness and health are contingent on never looking different. Thin people have a place and voice in the fight for size diversity! It's important for everyone promoting diversity of any kind to examine assumptions and privileges, and respect that each person comes with their own experiences and motivations.
In addition, fat and thin are arbitrary designations on what is really a spectrum. I have a size 10 friend I think of as thin, but she frets about what she sees as excess weight. As one of the speakers in the first telesummit said, we have the right to self-identity.
The ideal is to bridge the gap and eliminate any feeling of otherness between fat and thin people. We are fighting for humanity at every size. The reality, however, is that many fat people feel more comfortable around other fat people. They know that the other fat person "gets it" on a level that a thin person can't. They will be friends with thin people, and there are often very close relationships with empathetic thin people that bridge the gap. There are many who truly see all people as part of the human family. But there are others who still struggle with validating their own identity and their right to it. There are many who have had such devastating and traumatic experiences with thin people (even "best friends" who really weren't) that it takes time and familiarity to build trust. If you're a thin person in FA, you're very much welcome, but everyone on the fat-thin identity spectrum must bring patience and understanding to the table. We are not activists in a vacuum, and our lives have generally involved some wear and tear on the soul. Acknowledging the reality is the first step towards enacting change.
Part 2 was posted yesterday.
In Part 2, I addressed whether there is specific hostility towards thin people in FA. In this post, I want to address the part of the caller's question asking whether thin people are welcomed as part of the "family" in FA.
There's a lot of crossover with the last section, but there are also enough nuances here to warrant its own posting. Here's the thing; you can fight with a group you don't identify as part of in order to secure rights for that group. But that doesn't change your identity or your privilege.
As much as we are all fighting for the idea of equality and for all humans to be treated as humans regardless of size, we fat people cannot completely ignore the fact that for thin people, this is a choice. They are already accepted. In fact they are held up as the ideal. They can't help this anymore than I can help being considered the opposite. That's what privilege means; you are granted a certain social status based on criteria outside of your reasonable control.
I consider myself an ally of the LGTBQ community. I write my government representatives on LGTBQ issues, push for awareness amongst the people close to me, and try to confront prejudice when I encounter it. I also vote. But all the advocacy I can engage in does not make me part of the "family". There is always a certain divide between me and my experiences, and my LGTBQ friends. I have privilege. I can get married, talk about my partner at work without retribution or stigma, and generally not have to worry about being subject to a certain kind of discrimination in housing, employment, or service because of my identity as straight and cis-gendered. When someone complains that they encountered LGTBQ bigotry, I can listen and empathize, but I can't relate. Not on the same level as someone who has also had that experience. I can try to extend my own experiences with fat discrimination, but it really isn't the same.
I have many thin friends who don't see me as a body size. But every now and then one of my thin friends will say something. They will talk about their latest diet, or complain about the size of their hips, or laugh over a "huge" pair of pants at a clothing store without remember that I wear an even larger size. They will make an unwitting comment that they would have never made if they knew it was hurtful, but their experience does not fully sensitize them to the nuances of fat prejudice. I expect this, and suspect other fat people do as well. There is a certain wariness and awkwardness I sometimes feel around thin people who aren't aware of their privilege. They may accept me, but they also have a certain power to hurt me. Even if they never use it, I can't ignore that power.
This is why only fat people can make fat jokes, or why only gay people can make gay jokes, or why only women can make cracks about PMS. This is the perfect example to highlight a very subtle form of otherness. I can make a joke that expresses my identity or my frustration with associated issues. You can't, because you are making them from the outside. It does make a difference.
Just to prevent anyone from thinking I'm throwing stones here, I want to give an example where it was entirely my fuck-up. I heard the other day that Canadian airlines are not allowing people to fly if their dress and appearance doesn't match the gender on their driver's license or I.D. I was really angry, and made a snarky crack about how Canada is forcing people to cross-dress in order to fly. My intention was to validate people's gender identity and highlight the ridiculousness of the rule. If a woman was born male (Canada won't change gender on official documents unless you're post-op) then she would have to dress up like a man in order to get on the plane. Here's the problem; I'm cis-gendered. As an outsider, my joke could just as easily be interpreted as reinforcing Canada's justification for the rule by saying it was easy to just put on different clothes for the flight. My intentions don't count; only the effect of my words. Luckily I have people around who call me on this kind of thing so that I can stop acting unintentionally like a jackass.
Now after pointing out the otherness, let me emphasize that I'm NOT saying thin people aren't welcome in this movement. Thin people have a vested interest in supporting size diversity, and we fat people need to acknowledge it. Thin people have friends, family, children, past and future size changes, employees, employers, and a hundred other reasons why they, personally, need to create a world without size prejudice. They are bombarded with "conform or die" messages every day that try to convince them to hate and fear others. They are told that their privilege, worth, attractiveness and health are contingent on never looking different. Thin people have a place and voice in the fight for size diversity! It's important for everyone promoting diversity of any kind to examine assumptions and privileges, and respect that each person comes with their own experiences and motivations.
In addition, fat and thin are arbitrary designations on what is really a spectrum. I have a size 10 friend I think of as thin, but she frets about what she sees as excess weight. As one of the speakers in the first telesummit said, we have the right to self-identity.
The ideal is to bridge the gap and eliminate any feeling of otherness between fat and thin people. We are fighting for humanity at every size. The reality, however, is that many fat people feel more comfortable around other fat people. They know that the other fat person "gets it" on a level that a thin person can't. They will be friends with thin people, and there are often very close relationships with empathetic thin people that bridge the gap. There are many who truly see all people as part of the human family. But there are others who still struggle with validating their own identity and their right to it. There are many who have had such devastating and traumatic experiences with thin people (even "best friends" who really weren't) that it takes time and familiarity to build trust. If you're a thin person in FA, you're very much welcome, but everyone on the fat-thin identity spectrum must bring patience and understanding to the table. We are not activists in a vacuum, and our lives have generally involved some wear and tear on the soul. Acknowledging the reality is the first step towards enacting change.
Friday, February 3, 2012
On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 2)
This is part 2 of my series addressing the question of a caller on the first Body Love Revolution Telesummit. The caller was asking about the place for thin people (especially men) in the fat acceptance movement. Please read Part 1 for background.
I use "she" in this post because I am, in part, talking about my own experience in FA and I identify as female. This should not be taken to mean that people of other genders have not had the same experience or aren't welcome voices in FA.
The first part of the question outlined in Part 1 was whether we (i.e. fat acceptance activists) are hostile towards thin people. I think Marilyn Wann nailed this when she said we want to be all accepting, but, she said, there is still envy out there. While we would all like to think that once we become advocates for size diversity we suddenly consider everyone to be just like us, the truth is that we don't become activists in a vacuum. Many become activists because they are angry.
You see this often in anything that could be considered counter-culture. Some Pagans resent Christians. Some women resent men. Some fat people resent thin people. It is a perfectly natural first step towards breaking away from dominant culture; first reject the culture. My favorite name for it is the "Jan Brady Syndrome." See, as fat people, thin people are held up to us on a constant basis by everyone around us with the message "why can't you be more like Marcia?" This is a classic conflict between siblings, and often leads to trouble whether on the micro or macro scale. They are the ideal, and we are the failure. How can anyone come away from that without some resentment?
It is only after we have broken away and put space between us and the false ideal, and learned to love ourselves as we are and for what we can do, that this anger fades. It's something we should all work towards, with self-forgiveness and patience. Remember, though, that a freshly minted fat activist is just now struggling with the idea that they spent all their lives fighting desperately and futilely towards being just like Marcia, engaging in self-loathing and harm along the way. She has just had the massive paradigm shift that not only is she okay just as she is, but has ALWAYS been okay, even when everyone was telling her she wasn't. This is an amazing, liberating, uplifting revelation. But it also makes us angry. Really angry. We've wasted decades of our lives hating ourselves unnecessarily, envying the effortlessly skinny girls who had everything we wanted. We are conflicted, and ready to lash out.
This is why you see people projecting that frustration by making claims that fat people are somehow better than thin. You see slogans about how "real women" have curves (or eat cake, etc.). This is a defensive posture, because we still feel like we have to fight to assert and accept our identity as a fat person. We call thin people twigs, or make snide comments about them needing a cheeseburger. This is a perfectly normal psychological move to convince ourselves that we are normal, desirable, and generally okay. It is pushing back. We are making space for ourselves not only in the world, but in our heads.
Many people have moved beyond this stage. It should be a stage. We should actively work towards making it as short as possible. Some people skip it altogether, or only need a week. Some people need years. However long it takes, it takes.
What does this mean for thin people who have thrown their effort, their indignation, and sometimes their reputations in with us to fight for size diversity? It means you need a certain level of patience. You need to understand that it isn't personal. You can set specific boundaries with your FA friends and colleagues (i.e. "please don't make snarky comments about thin people; I identify as one and those comments are hurtful to me.") without getting on a soapbox or exchanging like for like. You can acknowledge the history and hurt, the defensiveness and fear that if we let our guard down for even a moment, our thin friends may cause us pain by some unthinking comment or action. It means really examining thin privilege, and knowing that it's difficult for us that we speak the same message, but yours is the only one people hear. That's why we can make fat jokes, but you can't. Even though you can't help the way you're made anymore than we can.
What does this mean for fat people fighting for body diversity? Remember that thin people have a personal, vested effort in making this a world where body diversity is the norm. They have privilege, but they do not live in a vacuum. They have friends, family, children, spouses, employers, employees, and others affected by prejudice. They may be recovering from or have an eating disorder triggered by our culture's fear of fat. They may gain weight as they age and want to be able to still love themselves. They are bombarded every day with messages that their worth to the world and the love they experience is contingent entirely on them not allowing their bodies to change. We also need to remember that thin people can't help the way they're made. They're living the size they come in.
The ideal (and goal) should be for everyone to acknowledge that we are all part of the same human family. We all come in the size we are, and none of us can help it. We should acknowledge that the very thin people suffer prejudice and snark and negative assumptions about their mental and physical health, and that the medium thin have to fight falling into our cultural trap of obsessing about their weight to stay thin.
But we're talking about human beings here, with human fallibility and emotions. The anger is a reality that must be acknowledged, respected, and resolved. Remember that we cannot control our emotions, and have a right to feel them. What we can control is what we do with and in reaction to those emotions. Do we use them constructively or destructively?
It's not reasonable to expect us to become enlightened overnight, anymore than it's reasonable to expect everyone to examine and relinquish social privilege on demand. It's been five or more years and I still struggle with the little commenter in my own head that sees a very thin girl and starts diagnosing eating disorders (especially now that I've been studying the DSM). I still experience some sharp stab of envy when I see someone in awesome retro clothes I can't wear. With a lot of patience, though, I can work towards the ideal of letting that go and respecting all bodies the way I want to be respected.
I use "she" in this post because I am, in part, talking about my own experience in FA and I identify as female. This should not be taken to mean that people of other genders have not had the same experience or aren't welcome voices in FA.
The first part of the question outlined in Part 1 was whether we (i.e. fat acceptance activists) are hostile towards thin people. I think Marilyn Wann nailed this when she said we want to be all accepting, but, she said, there is still envy out there. While we would all like to think that once we become advocates for size diversity we suddenly consider everyone to be just like us, the truth is that we don't become activists in a vacuum. Many become activists because they are angry.
You see this often in anything that could be considered counter-culture. Some Pagans resent Christians. Some women resent men. Some fat people resent thin people. It is a perfectly natural first step towards breaking away from dominant culture; first reject the culture. My favorite name for it is the "Jan Brady Syndrome." See, as fat people, thin people are held up to us on a constant basis by everyone around us with the message "why can't you be more like Marcia?" This is a classic conflict between siblings, and often leads to trouble whether on the micro or macro scale. They are the ideal, and we are the failure. How can anyone come away from that without some resentment?
It is only after we have broken away and put space between us and the false ideal, and learned to love ourselves as we are and for what we can do, that this anger fades. It's something we should all work towards, with self-forgiveness and patience. Remember, though, that a freshly minted fat activist is just now struggling with the idea that they spent all their lives fighting desperately and futilely towards being just like Marcia, engaging in self-loathing and harm along the way. She has just had the massive paradigm shift that not only is she okay just as she is, but has ALWAYS been okay, even when everyone was telling her she wasn't. This is an amazing, liberating, uplifting revelation. But it also makes us angry. Really angry. We've wasted decades of our lives hating ourselves unnecessarily, envying the effortlessly skinny girls who had everything we wanted. We are conflicted, and ready to lash out.
This is why you see people projecting that frustration by making claims that fat people are somehow better than thin. You see slogans about how "real women" have curves (or eat cake, etc.). This is a defensive posture, because we still feel like we have to fight to assert and accept our identity as a fat person. We call thin people twigs, or make snide comments about them needing a cheeseburger. This is a perfectly normal psychological move to convince ourselves that we are normal, desirable, and generally okay. It is pushing back. We are making space for ourselves not only in the world, but in our heads.
Many people have moved beyond this stage. It should be a stage. We should actively work towards making it as short as possible. Some people skip it altogether, or only need a week. Some people need years. However long it takes, it takes.
What does this mean for thin people who have thrown their effort, their indignation, and sometimes their reputations in with us to fight for size diversity? It means you need a certain level of patience. You need to understand that it isn't personal. You can set specific boundaries with your FA friends and colleagues (i.e. "please don't make snarky comments about thin people; I identify as one and those comments are hurtful to me.") without getting on a soapbox or exchanging like for like. You can acknowledge the history and hurt, the defensiveness and fear that if we let our guard down for even a moment, our thin friends may cause us pain by some unthinking comment or action. It means really examining thin privilege, and knowing that it's difficult for us that we speak the same message, but yours is the only one people hear. That's why we can make fat jokes, but you can't. Even though you can't help the way you're made anymore than we can.
What does this mean for fat people fighting for body diversity? Remember that thin people have a personal, vested effort in making this a world where body diversity is the norm. They have privilege, but they do not live in a vacuum. They have friends, family, children, spouses, employers, employees, and others affected by prejudice. They may be recovering from or have an eating disorder triggered by our culture's fear of fat. They may gain weight as they age and want to be able to still love themselves. They are bombarded every day with messages that their worth to the world and the love they experience is contingent entirely on them not allowing their bodies to change. We also need to remember that thin people can't help the way they're made. They're living the size they come in.
The ideal (and goal) should be for everyone to acknowledge that we are all part of the same human family. We all come in the size we are, and none of us can help it. We should acknowledge that the very thin people suffer prejudice and snark and negative assumptions about their mental and physical health, and that the medium thin have to fight falling into our cultural trap of obsessing about their weight to stay thin.
But we're talking about human beings here, with human fallibility and emotions. The anger is a reality that must be acknowledged, respected, and resolved. Remember that we cannot control our emotions, and have a right to feel them. What we can control is what we do with and in reaction to those emotions. Do we use them constructively or destructively?
It's not reasonable to expect us to become enlightened overnight, anymore than it's reasonable to expect everyone to examine and relinquish social privilege on demand. It's been five or more years and I still struggle with the little commenter in my own head that sees a very thin girl and starts diagnosing eating disorders (especially now that I've been studying the DSM). I still experience some sharp stab of envy when I see someone in awesome retro clothes I can't wear. With a lot of patience, though, I can work towards the ideal of letting that go and respecting all bodies the way I want to be respected.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
On Thinness and Fat Acceptance (Part 1)
I was in on the fantabulous Body Love Revolution Telesummit on Tuesday (There's still time to register for upcoming sessions!). A question came up that I think needs much closer analysis. The caller organized diversity events on his campus (hooray for him for considering size diversity!). He asked how and whether thin people, specifically thin men, are accepted as voices or advocates in this whole Fat Acceptance movement. It was a really thoughtful, and painfully real question.
The first thoughts that came into my head were about Malcolm X. Whatever you think of any or all of his messages, he did advance the idea of self-determinism; that a minority group does not have to rely on the majority to represent their voice or be a witness to their experience. He believed that if a group was not protected from hate and bigotry, they must protect themselves. This is why straight people are allies of the LGTBQ community, but not always accepted into every community as a full member of the family. It is about standing up for yourself, because being dependent on another person to approve you or vouch for you in order to be okay is NOT okay.
We as a fat acceptance movement have sometimes needed advocacy from thin people. I remember the introduction to Paul Campos's book, where the publisher would only take the book if Campos was thin. Likewise, Linda Bacon's advocacy success may be based, in part, on the fact that she is thin. Our voices must often be carried by thin people where they normally wouldn't go. This is not a bad thing. These people helped carve out huge chunks of new territory for us to carry the diversity message, and provided us with the strong empiric ammunition we needed to fight the good fight. On the other hand, they have a very different experience and perspective from Marilyn Wann, or Peggy Howell. They acknowledge and fight against size bigotry, but they have not really experienced it.
So when the caller asked this question, he's asking a few things. He's asking whether we are hostile towards thin people. He's asking whether thin people are welcomed as part of the "family". He's asking how a thin person can respectfully lend their support to the movement without co-opting the voices or having personal experience as a target of bigotry. He's asking whether the participation of men is encouraged, threatening, or irrelevant to the movement. It was a damn good, but complex question.
I will be giving my answers to these questions over the next week or so, trying to tackle each area of a complex web of activism and identity. Your mileage may absolutely vary, because there is no "one true way" of any movement. You may have answers to these questions that are very different from mine, because your experience and paradigm are very different from mine.
The first thoughts that came into my head were about Malcolm X. Whatever you think of any or all of his messages, he did advance the idea of self-determinism; that a minority group does not have to rely on the majority to represent their voice or be a witness to their experience. He believed that if a group was not protected from hate and bigotry, they must protect themselves. This is why straight people are allies of the LGTBQ community, but not always accepted into every community as a full member of the family. It is about standing up for yourself, because being dependent on another person to approve you or vouch for you in order to be okay is NOT okay.
We as a fat acceptance movement have sometimes needed advocacy from thin people. I remember the introduction to Paul Campos's book, where the publisher would only take the book if Campos was thin. Likewise, Linda Bacon's advocacy success may be based, in part, on the fact that she is thin. Our voices must often be carried by thin people where they normally wouldn't go. This is not a bad thing. These people helped carve out huge chunks of new territory for us to carry the diversity message, and provided us with the strong empiric ammunition we needed to fight the good fight. On the other hand, they have a very different experience and perspective from Marilyn Wann, or Peggy Howell. They acknowledge and fight against size bigotry, but they have not really experienced it.
So when the caller asked this question, he's asking a few things. He's asking whether we are hostile towards thin people. He's asking whether thin people are welcomed as part of the "family". He's asking how a thin person can respectfully lend their support to the movement without co-opting the voices or having personal experience as a target of bigotry. He's asking whether the participation of men is encouraged, threatening, or irrelevant to the movement. It was a damn good, but complex question.
I will be giving my answers to these questions over the next week or so, trying to tackle each area of a complex web of activism and identity. Your mileage may absolutely vary, because there is no "one true way" of any movement. You may have answers to these questions that are very different from mine, because your experience and paradigm are very different from mine.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
A Civil Liberties Segue
I don't usually stray too far into controversial political issues other than FA, and I don't plan to make this blog a regular platform. But there's a disturbing thing happening in Michigan, and it has to do with my reproductive rights.
The Michigan senate is considering a bill (SB600) that would allow drivers to purchase an official license plate with a "Choose Life" logo on it. $25 from the purchase of the plate would go to the organization Right to Life, which claims to simply offer "abortion alternatives," but in reality is an active political lobby for criminalizing abortion and denying funds to organizations like Planned Parenthood, which provides many uninsured women their only opportunity to get routine health care like pap and pelvic exams, access to birth control, etc. (only a tiny portion of Planned Parenthood's operations involve abortion).
Oh, and there's no option to purchase a plate that supports the other side of the issue. The state is only interested in endorsing the anti-abortion stance.
Now when I say I'm pro-choice, I mean that I absolutely support a woman's right to choose to not have an abortion. I support women who think it is the wrong choice for them, and who decide to either raise the child or put it up for adoption. But the key word in that is "choose." Choosing to not have an abortion, and taking away MY right to choose whether to have one, are two very different things.
I think that this issue is an extension of the idea that a woman's body does not belong to her. This same idea leads to people feeling justified in judging, criticizing, and attempting to control our bodies in other ways. Weight, for example. Anyone who's listened to office gossip knows that our culture (including most women) feel that a woman's body is a public object. She has a social obligation to "maintain" it according to society's standards or face society's wrath. In part, a woman is blamed if she is raped or harassed because to some extent our culture sees her as already belonging to other people (especially to men) and her body was never her's to defend. Likewise, we have to fight against the expectation that our purpose (other than decorative) is as a machine for the reproduction of genetic material not our own. What could be a more personal expression of our ownership of our bodies then deciding whether to give up nine months or more of our lives, threaten our physical and mental health, our economic security, and every other priority, to grow a human being? Of course having the right to say no to that challenges every cultural assumption that we do not own our bodies.
I don't think that the state of Michigan has any business becoming an endorsement mill for divisive political organizations. I have no problem with their using the plates for sports teams (as they offer every team in the state). If they're crossing the line into political positions such as abortion, they need to make sure that people on both sides of the issue have an equal chance to express their views. Denying them even that choice pretty much sums up what's wrong with this situation.
The Michigan senate is considering a bill (SB600) that would allow drivers to purchase an official license plate with a "Choose Life" logo on it. $25 from the purchase of the plate would go to the organization Right to Life, which claims to simply offer "abortion alternatives," but in reality is an active political lobby for criminalizing abortion and denying funds to organizations like Planned Parenthood, which provides many uninsured women their only opportunity to get routine health care like pap and pelvic exams, access to birth control, etc. (only a tiny portion of Planned Parenthood's operations involve abortion).
Oh, and there's no option to purchase a plate that supports the other side of the issue. The state is only interested in endorsing the anti-abortion stance.
Now when I say I'm pro-choice, I mean that I absolutely support a woman's right to choose to not have an abortion. I support women who think it is the wrong choice for them, and who decide to either raise the child or put it up for adoption. But the key word in that is "choose." Choosing to not have an abortion, and taking away MY right to choose whether to have one, are two very different things.
I think that this issue is an extension of the idea that a woman's body does not belong to her. This same idea leads to people feeling justified in judging, criticizing, and attempting to control our bodies in other ways. Weight, for example. Anyone who's listened to office gossip knows that our culture (including most women) feel that a woman's body is a public object. She has a social obligation to "maintain" it according to society's standards or face society's wrath. In part, a woman is blamed if she is raped or harassed because to some extent our culture sees her as already belonging to other people (especially to men) and her body was never her's to defend. Likewise, we have to fight against the expectation that our purpose (other than decorative) is as a machine for the reproduction of genetic material not our own. What could be a more personal expression of our ownership of our bodies then deciding whether to give up nine months or more of our lives, threaten our physical and mental health, our economic security, and every other priority, to grow a human being? Of course having the right to say no to that challenges every cultural assumption that we do not own our bodies.
I don't think that the state of Michigan has any business becoming an endorsement mill for divisive political organizations. I have no problem with their using the plates for sports teams (as they offer every team in the state). If they're crossing the line into political positions such as abortion, they need to make sure that people on both sides of the issue have an equal chance to express their views. Denying them even that choice pretty much sums up what's wrong with this situation.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Ninja Commenting, continued
I have my dummy e-mail address (fatactivist @ gmail) and am going to try and post 2-3 comments per day on various articles with fat hate. I find it helps to not read the other comments. Today's theme was Paula Deen, and I left comments on 3 articles slamming the hypocrisy of Anthony Bourdain (who chain smokes and binge drinks on his TV show) criticising Paula Deen for cooking unhealthy food. You know, unlike the butter sauce he puts on everything? But he's thin, so it makes it okay for him to claim health superiority. Even though he has to take a break to climb a set of stairs because he has no lung capacity left.
I used to like his show.
I used to like his show.
Monday, January 23, 2012
New Ninja Commenting Text
Until I make the reluctant leap to join the Hive Mind (aka Facebook), I'll continue to update comment cut-and-paste texts for Ninja Commenting here on my blog. Here's the latest, which I'm using on general "why don't they just put down the donuts and take a walk" kind of fat hate threads, especially those targeted at "childhood obesity". I think it covers the basics for someone not already in the fat acceptance paradigm:
Ninja Comment:
No one has ever developed a way to make fat people thin. Really. Everyone thinks that it's a very simple thing, but if that were so, wouldn't everyone be thin? No empirical study of weight loss shows more than a 5% long-term success rate for any weight loss method. That means that in five years, 95% of people not only re-gain all the weight they have lost, but generally end up approximately 3-10% heavier. That includes weight loss surgery patients.
The good news is that there are several studies showing that fat and unhealthy are NOT the same thing. Studies show that a person's level of exercise, regardless of how much they weigh, is the primary determinant of health. Genetic factors play a very high role as well. Stress (like in stigma and shaming) is a very important factor in developing many illnesses normally attributed to weight, but for some reason we blame the weight alone.
Trust me, kids know when they're fat. If they ever interact with our culture in America, they're not allowed to forget it. Shaming, bullying, and weight stigma have shockingly bad effects on health. For instance, eating disorders amongst kids younger than 12 have shot up in the last decade. Think about 9 year olds being hospitalized for anorexia before you condone weight-shaming in children. Childhood depression and other mood disorders have increased dramatically. Children who aren't even overweight for their age are developing a poor body image that will haunt them throughout their lives.
If you're interested in an alternative model for health instead of a fruitless pursuit of weight loss and panicked screaming about epidemics, (see the recent news from the federal health agencies that Americans actually haven't been getting any fatter for the last decade. Weight has not increased in any age category), use your search engine to look for HAES (Health at Every Size). You'll notice that a lot of the health specialists involved with promoting HAES are those on the front lines of eating disorder reasearch. They know that the old system of shaming and blaming is only going to do more harm.
Ninja Comment:
No one has ever developed a way to make fat people thin. Really. Everyone thinks that it's a very simple thing, but if that were so, wouldn't everyone be thin? No empirical study of weight loss shows more than a 5% long-term success rate for any weight loss method. That means that in five years, 95% of people not only re-gain all the weight they have lost, but generally end up approximately 3-10% heavier. That includes weight loss surgery patients.
The good news is that there are several studies showing that fat and unhealthy are NOT the same thing. Studies show that a person's level of exercise, regardless of how much they weigh, is the primary determinant of health. Genetic factors play a very high role as well. Stress (like in stigma and shaming) is a very important factor in developing many illnesses normally attributed to weight, but for some reason we blame the weight alone.
Trust me, kids know when they're fat. If they ever interact with our culture in America, they're not allowed to forget it. Shaming, bullying, and weight stigma have shockingly bad effects on health. For instance, eating disorders amongst kids younger than 12 have shot up in the last decade. Think about 9 year olds being hospitalized for anorexia before you condone weight-shaming in children. Childhood depression and other mood disorders have increased dramatically. Children who aren't even overweight for their age are developing a poor body image that will haunt them throughout their lives.
If you're interested in an alternative model for health instead of a fruitless pursuit of weight loss and panicked screaming about epidemics, (see the recent news from the federal health agencies that Americans actually haven't been getting any fatter for the last decade. Weight has not increased in any age category), use your search engine to look for HAES (Health at Every Size). You'll notice that a lot of the health specialists involved with promoting HAES are those on the front lines of eating disorder reasearch. They know that the old system of shaming and blaming is only going to do more harm.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Recipe box: Gluten-Free Crepes
I'm finally posting JD's Gluten-Free Crepes! This is something he adapted from another recipe to work with the GF flour mix we use (below). We generally eat them for breakfast, ideally with mascarpone cheese and sliced fruit. Mascarpone can be found in a lot of food stores that sell specialty cheeses. It's a very sweet, light, Italian cream cheese that tastes like crème fraîche. The brand we find locally, Belgioioso, is gluten free. You can also use regular cream cheese, sweetened ricotta, or Neufchatel.
Gluten-Free Flour Mix:
4 parts white rice flour
3 parts potato starch
2 parts sweet white sorghum flour
measure parts by pouring into a measuring cup or container and use the same container for each "part". If you have a kitchen scale, measuring by weight is even better! Scooping the flour from the original container can compress it and give you uneven results. Mix all the parts together very well (we put it in a big container and shake it thoroughly).
Crepes
1/2 cup flour [see above for GF flour mix]
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
5/8 cup milk (1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons)
If possible, use a small round nonstick pan with tapered sides, like an omelette pan.
Preheat the pan on medium heat. Dampen a paper towel with vegetable oil and wipe it on the pan to give it a very thin coating.
Mix all ingredients together. Whip until well blended. Pour just enough batter into the pan to coat the bottom, tipping the pan to spread evenly. If it doesn't flow well, add milk by tablespoons until it is thin enough.
Wait for approximately 1 minute, or until crepe is dry and slides easily in pan. Flip crepe and cook for an additional 30 seconds. The crepe should still be light and pliant without browning, but may have brittle edges.
For the visual learners, here's a Youtube video on how to cook the crepes. Skip past the mixing of ingredients and use the recipe above, but note the texture of the batter and watch how he pours it to coat the pan.
Makes 6-9 crepes.
Gluten-Free Flour Mix:
4 parts white rice flour
3 parts potato starch
2 parts sweet white sorghum flour
measure parts by pouring into a measuring cup or container and use the same container for each "part". If you have a kitchen scale, measuring by weight is even better! Scooping the flour from the original container can compress it and give you uneven results. Mix all the parts together very well (we put it in a big container and shake it thoroughly).
Crepes
1/2 cup flour [see above for GF flour mix]
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
5/8 cup milk (1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons)
If possible, use a small round nonstick pan with tapered sides, like an omelette pan.
Preheat the pan on medium heat. Dampen a paper towel with vegetable oil and wipe it on the pan to give it a very thin coating.
Mix all ingredients together. Whip until well blended. Pour just enough batter into the pan to coat the bottom, tipping the pan to spread evenly. If it doesn't flow well, add milk by tablespoons until it is thin enough.
Wait for approximately 1 minute, or until crepe is dry and slides easily in pan. Flip crepe and cook for an additional 30 seconds. The crepe should still be light and pliant without browning, but may have brittle edges.
For the visual learners, here's a Youtube video on how to cook the crepes. Skip past the mixing of ingredients and use the recipe above, but note the texture of the batter and watch how he pours it to coat the pan.
Makes 6-9 crepes.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Ninja Commenting
Ragen at Dances With Fat posted a piece on how we can practice some activism at home and take back some fat hating comment streams through Ninja Commenting. Please read the post, because it's excellent :-)
I want to expand on her idea and use it myself. The idea is to find mainstream news stories (not private threads or weight-loss sites; we're not trolls!) about weight. These stories inevitably spawn some gut-churning nastiness in the comment threads, which I usually avoid. No longer! I don't have to read them, but I can post a comment to help challenge the paradigm.
Step 1 is to create an e-mail account for the purpose. I don't want to sign up for spam, so I'll create an e-mail account specifically to use as my news commenting account. I will register it at most of the mainstream news sites I go to (cnn.com, Detroit News and Freepress, etc.) I'll register more as I need to to comment on individual articles.
Step 2 is to put together some stock responses. You will find that these articles and comment threads can be generally sorted into a very few themes:
1. Fat and diabetes (i.e. you got diabetes because you're fat, or if you're fat you'll get diabetes)
2. Weight loss (i.e. you'd be less fat if you just xyz)
3. Fat myths (i.e. fat people are lazy, stupid, underqualified for anything, never exercise)
There may be others, of course. But I can put together a few stock answers to general categories to simply cut and paste to comment threads without spending a lot of time typing.
Some definite necessities:
Ragen mentioned two very important follow-up steps. Don't check the box that notifies you of responses or follow-ups. Don't go back to the article to see if anyone has responded to your post.
Trust me, they've responded and you won't like it. We joke about "sanity watchers'" points in FA, which means you should limit the amount of negativity directed at you when you have the option. Mental health is still health. So post your ninja comment and never look back. It isn't for you; it's for that poor lurker who will come across it and have a seed planted in their heads that they might just be okay.
I'll keep this post updated with stock answers. Please feel free to use my stock answers, although they'd be much better in your own words (especially if more than one person is ninja commenting the same article!). Try to avoid putting links in comments, as they're sometimes rejected and sometimes require complicated formatting to work. Instead, cite sources and let the readers look them up.
Stock Answer 1: Fat and Diabetes
This is currently useful for the Paula Deen hate going around. I took the quote from the ADA from Ragen's post.
It's a common myth that weight can cause diabetes, but according to the
American Diabetes Association: "Most overweight people never develop type
2 diabetes, and many people with type 2 diabetes are at a normal weight or
only moderately overweight." This is backed up by a lot of research.
When they say weight is a risk factor for type II diabetes, they mean it
is correlated. When two things are correlated, it means that they don't
know which causes which. The type II diabetes could cause weight gain.
The two could also both be the result of similar biological (genetics) or
environmental (stress, toxins, etc.) causes. No long term study has shown
that reducing weight reduces diabetes risk, which would make sense if the
weight was a symptom, not a cause. Other major factors that are often
ignored include stress and inactivity. Rather than blaming fat people for
an illness that could affect anyone, maybe we should explore real ways to
improve health in our country? I would recommend looking up the HAES, or
"Health at Every Size" concept for thorough research and effective models
for public health programs.
Stock Answer Two: Childhood Obesity (or, "why don't the fat kids just put down the donuts")
No one has ever developed a way to make fat people thin. Really. Everyone thinks that it's a very simple thing, but if that were so, wouldn't everyone be thin? No empirical study of weight loss shows more than a 5% long-term success rate for any weight loss method. That means that in five years, 95% of people not only re-gain all the weight they have lost, but generally end up approximately 3-10% heavier. That includes weight loss surgery patients.
The good news is that there are several studies showing that fat and unhealthy are NOT the same thing. Studies show that a person's level of exercise, regardless of how much they weigh, is the primary determinant of health. Genetic factors play a very high role as well. Stress (like in stigma and shaming) is a very important factor in developing many illnesses normally attributed to weight, but for some reason we blame the weight alone.
Trust me, kids know when they're fat. If they ever interact with our culture in America, they're not allowed to forget it. Shaming, bullying, and weight stigma have shockingly bad effects on health. For instance, eating disorders amongst kids younger than 12 have shot up in the last decade. Think about 9 year olds being hospitalized for anorexia before you condone weight-shaming in children. Childhood depression and other mood disorders have increased dramatically. Children who aren't even overweight for their age are developing a poor body image that will haunt them throughout their lives.
If you're interested in an alternative model for health instead of a fruitless pursuit of weight loss and panicked screaming about epidemics, (see the recent news from the federal health agencies that Americans actually haven't been getting any fatter for the last decade. Weight has not increased in any age category), use your search engine to look for HAES (Health at Every Size). You'll notice that a lot of the health specialists involved with promoting HAES are those on the front lines of eating disorder reasearch. They know that the old system of shaming and blaming is only going to do more harm.
I want to expand on her idea and use it myself. The idea is to find mainstream news stories (not private threads or weight-loss sites; we're not trolls!) about weight. These stories inevitably spawn some gut-churning nastiness in the comment threads, which I usually avoid. No longer! I don't have to read them, but I can post a comment to help challenge the paradigm.
Step 1 is to create an e-mail account for the purpose. I don't want to sign up for spam, so I'll create an e-mail account specifically to use as my news commenting account. I will register it at most of the mainstream news sites I go to (cnn.com, Detroit News and Freepress, etc.) I'll register more as I need to to comment on individual articles.
Step 2 is to put together some stock responses. You will find that these articles and comment threads can be generally sorted into a very few themes:
1. Fat and diabetes (i.e. you got diabetes because you're fat, or if you're fat you'll get diabetes)
2. Weight loss (i.e. you'd be less fat if you just xyz)
3. Fat myths (i.e. fat people are lazy, stupid, underqualified for anything, never exercise)
There may be others, of course. But I can put together a few stock answers to general categories to simply cut and paste to comment threads without spending a lot of time typing.
Some definite necessities:
Ragen mentioned two very important follow-up steps. Don't check the box that notifies you of responses or follow-ups. Don't go back to the article to see if anyone has responded to your post.
Trust me, they've responded and you won't like it. We joke about "sanity watchers'" points in FA, which means you should limit the amount of negativity directed at you when you have the option. Mental health is still health. So post your ninja comment and never look back. It isn't for you; it's for that poor lurker who will come across it and have a seed planted in their heads that they might just be okay.
I'll keep this post updated with stock answers. Please feel free to use my stock answers, although they'd be much better in your own words (especially if more than one person is ninja commenting the same article!). Try to avoid putting links in comments, as they're sometimes rejected and sometimes require complicated formatting to work. Instead, cite sources and let the readers look them up.
Stock Answer 1: Fat and Diabetes
This is currently useful for the Paula Deen hate going around. I took the quote from the ADA from Ragen's post.
It's a common myth that weight can cause diabetes, but according to the
American Diabetes Association: "Most overweight people never develop type
2 diabetes, and many people with type 2 diabetes are at a normal weight or
only moderately overweight." This is backed up by a lot of research.
When they say weight is a risk factor for type II diabetes, they mean it
is correlated. When two things are correlated, it means that they don't
know which causes which. The type II diabetes could cause weight gain.
The two could also both be the result of similar biological (genetics) or
environmental (stress, toxins, etc.) causes. No long term study has shown
that reducing weight reduces diabetes risk, which would make sense if the
weight was a symptom, not a cause. Other major factors that are often
ignored include stress and inactivity. Rather than blaming fat people for
an illness that could affect anyone, maybe we should explore real ways to
improve health in our country? I would recommend looking up the HAES, or
"Health at Every Size" concept for thorough research and effective models
for public health programs.
Stock Answer Two: Childhood Obesity (or, "why don't the fat kids just put down the donuts")
No one has ever developed a way to make fat people thin. Really. Everyone thinks that it's a very simple thing, but if that were so, wouldn't everyone be thin? No empirical study of weight loss shows more than a 5% long-term success rate for any weight loss method. That means that in five years, 95% of people not only re-gain all the weight they have lost, but generally end up approximately 3-10% heavier. That includes weight loss surgery patients.
The good news is that there are several studies showing that fat and unhealthy are NOT the same thing. Studies show that a person's level of exercise, regardless of how much they weigh, is the primary determinant of health. Genetic factors play a very high role as well. Stress (like in stigma and shaming) is a very important factor in developing many illnesses normally attributed to weight, but for some reason we blame the weight alone.
Trust me, kids know when they're fat. If they ever interact with our culture in America, they're not allowed to forget it. Shaming, bullying, and weight stigma have shockingly bad effects on health. For instance, eating disorders amongst kids younger than 12 have shot up in the last decade. Think about 9 year olds being hospitalized for anorexia before you condone weight-shaming in children. Childhood depression and other mood disorders have increased dramatically. Children who aren't even overweight for their age are developing a poor body image that will haunt them throughout their lives.
If you're interested in an alternative model for health instead of a fruitless pursuit of weight loss and panicked screaming about epidemics, (see the recent news from the federal health agencies that Americans actually haven't been getting any fatter for the last decade. Weight has not increased in any age category), use your search engine to look for HAES (Health at Every Size). You'll notice that a lot of the health specialists involved with promoting HAES are those on the front lines of eating disorder reasearch. They know that the old system of shaming and blaming is only going to do more harm.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Happiness Project: Memories versus Clutter
Scanning important documents, photos and souvenirs and tossing the originals is one of the frequent decluttering techniques I've seen posted on organizational blogs. I've always really resisted it, and now I have a good reason. I've just had a catastrophic computer snafu, and irretrievably lost all copies of every photo I've ever saved electronically.
Digital is convenient and compact, but anyone who works with digital files regularly should be very aware of their ephemeral existence. You can back them up in various ways, but they are never entirely safe. True, paper photos are subject to fire, flood and theft, but electronic images always held an extra element of intangibility and easy loss.
So I'll get aboard with reducing clutter by ditching hard copy books for digital, because in a pinch I can always get another. I'll scan unimportant documents like past bills where I can get copies from the companies if needed. But I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with having my only copy of important photos and writing in electronic form.
One of my happiness resolutions is to remove all kinds of clutter from my life. But I think I need to define clutter as that which is unimportant and unnecessary. Physical objects are not always clutter, and clutter is not always comprised of physical objects (stress, anxiety, overcommitment, etc. can be clutter). I hereby declare that photos of important moments in my life (within reason) are no longer clutter. I defy the professional organizers and take back the right to prioritize my own life and belongings.
In exchange, I need to commit to caring for what's important. I have photos tossed in boxes and piles that need organizing and arranging in albums. I should toss photos that no longer evoke good memories, and reduce those that do to a representative sample. I don't need a hundred pictures of the same beach in Cozumel. I should scan what I do have and back it up to an online storage medium so that I am protected from both physical and electronic damage.
Maybe that's what clutter means to me: If it isn't worth the effort to protect it, is it really worth having at all?
Digital is convenient and compact, but anyone who works with digital files regularly should be very aware of their ephemeral existence. You can back them up in various ways, but they are never entirely safe. True, paper photos are subject to fire, flood and theft, but electronic images always held an extra element of intangibility and easy loss.
So I'll get aboard with reducing clutter by ditching hard copy books for digital, because in a pinch I can always get another. I'll scan unimportant documents like past bills where I can get copies from the companies if needed. But I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with having my only copy of important photos and writing in electronic form.
One of my happiness resolutions is to remove all kinds of clutter from my life. But I think I need to define clutter as that which is unimportant and unnecessary. Physical objects are not always clutter, and clutter is not always comprised of physical objects (stress, anxiety, overcommitment, etc. can be clutter). I hereby declare that photos of important moments in my life (within reason) are no longer clutter. I defy the professional organizers and take back the right to prioritize my own life and belongings.
In exchange, I need to commit to caring for what's important. I have photos tossed in boxes and piles that need organizing and arranging in albums. I should toss photos that no longer evoke good memories, and reduce those that do to a representative sample. I don't need a hundred pictures of the same beach in Cozumel. I should scan what I do have and back it up to an online storage medium so that I am protected from both physical and electronic damage.
Maybe that's what clutter means to me: If it isn't worth the effort to protect it, is it really worth having at all?
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